The Sacrifices made for the one you care about most
by spinzaku04
Summary: "Shut up! save your apologies for when you're better!" "I...I dont think...I'm going to get any better...Kurogane" "What the hell are you talking about?" "I'm not going to make it...I'm dying Kurogane" when Fai makes the ultimate sacrifice to save Kurogane's life without even telling him, how will he take it? PS it is put as romance but its more emotional than romantic
1. darkness

_"I'm...so sorry.."_

_"Shut up! Save your apologies for when you're better!"_

_"I...I don't think...I'm going to get any better...Kurogane."_

_"What the hell are you talking about!?"_

_"I'm not going to make it...I'm dying Kurogane."_

_~~earlier~~_

The night was crisp and a cool breeze ran across the open field. Nothing made a sound. The world seemed a pinnacle of serenity. That silence was shattered abruptly when the sky split open in a metallic flow of magic. The metallic substance fell forth from the sky only to burst upon impact with the grassy plain, leaving behind a small group of interdimensional travelers.

The dark haired traveler at the rear of the small group straightened his back and peered out across the plain. It took only moments to come to the conclusion that they had landed in a safe place. It was a nice change of pace from the last world. During their stay in the last world they had barely gotten any sleep due to the constant battling, night and day, that they were required to take part in so as to be trusted by the inhabitants of that land. The whole group seemed to have the same thought and breathed a sigh of relief in unison. In the darkness Kurogane could vaguely see the kid helping the princess and the manjuu bun to stay together. Sakura and Mokona must have have been afraid that they'd get separated from the group.

"We should find a place to set up a camp and a fire then search for a town and the feather in the morning," Syaoran suggested to the others.

"Whatever," Kurogane grunted in response. "We should move to a place less out in the open though, we're too vulnerable to a surprise attack out here."

The boy nodded in agreement though it was almost impossible to see, even for Kurogane's keen eyes. The group started off in the direction of the forest around to the left of the field but the raven-haired man had only walked for a few seconds when the princess called out.

"Wait!" she yelled suddenly, causing the small group to stop in their tracks. "Where's Fai-san?!" She panicked, turning on her heels, trying to spot the mage's position.

"Oi, Idiot!" Kurogane called out. It would be impossibe to see him, even if he was as little as a few feet away. This wasn't good. "Oi, mage! Where the hell are you!" There was nothing but silence as a response.

"Mokona." The princess turned to the manjuu bun. "Can you sense where Fai-san is?"

"Mokona will try!" The ball of fluff jumped from Syaoran's shoulder to land on the palm of the girl's hand. Mokona was silent in concentration. It probably only took a few seconds, but Kurogane wanted desperately to yell for the manjuu bun to hurry up and tell them where that idiot mage was. Mokona whimpered anxiously. "He's right near here somewhere. He landed with us but something's wrong."

"What the hell do you mean by 'wrong' manjuu!" Kurogane growled.

"Mokona doesn't know for sure but I can barely sense his energy anymore."

"Damnit!" The group began searching the area for their missing companion. They called his name but it was no use. The ninja strained his eyes to see in the now intimidating darkness. Anger and frustration were beginning to build up in his chest as they continued to search in vain. Then, their luck turned for the first time in a long time. The moon peeked out from behind the dense clouds, illuminating the grassy field with pale light. Working quickly with the limited window of oportunity before the moon was once again cloaked and hidden, Kurogane ran his eyes over the field, looking for any sign of the blonde man. In his rush, he almost missed the shine of golden locks among the the thick grass one hundred metres or so away. As soon as his eyes rested on the shining locks the moon was gone once again. Despite this, the raven-haired man rushed towards the memory of those golden locks among the dark green. As he got closer to where he had seen the man he began to hear strange sounds. The sound of ragged breathing and gasps for breath. He came to a stop when he saw clearly the figure of the man on the ground. He knelt by his companion and lifted his torso to rest on his knee.

"Oi, he's over here!" he called out to the others, placing a hand on the other's chest, trying to calm his harsh breathing.

"Keep talking Kurogane! We're coming!" the kid called back.

"Is he alright?!" the princess asked.

"Don't know! I think he's unconscious and he's having trouble breathing. He must be sick or something!" The moon came out from behind the clouds and Kurogane could see Fai's pale face, wet with perspiration. His face was contorted in pain. The ninja held him close, still attempting to calm his breathing. Damn it, Fai...

The kids and the manjuu reached them quickly now that they could see the two men. Kurogane was still holding the very ill looking mage. Mokona whimpered again, looking down at her friend. The puff ball knew something she wasn't telling the others. Yuuko had told her not to tell the others, since Fai had chosen to keep it from them at the time, but she couldn't stand it. If she told them they might be able to help Fai get better, right? Fai wouldn't get mad at Mokona for trying to help, right? She whimpered again, not knowing what to do. She jumped down from Sakura's shoulder and landed on the suffering man's lap. "Fai-san, you won't get mad at Mokona if she tries to help you right? Mokona just wants Fai-san to be alright," she cried, although the man was not nearly conscious enough to understand, let alone give a response to the manjuu bun's question. "Ohhhh! What should Mokona do?!" She continued to worry over it.

"What are you talking about Manjuu!?" the ninja demanded. If Mokona weren't so panicked, she would have made a joke about 'how cute Kurgy is when he's worried about Fai-san' but now was not the time.

"Mokona knows what's wrong with Fai-san."


	2. the mage's choice

Kurogane couldn't sleep. They hadn't let them back in to see Fai that night. They, well really Kurogane, had carried Fai to the closest town after he'd found the blonde unconscious, and as soon as the doctors had gotten hold of him the group had got very little access to their companion. That really got on the ninja's nerves. Then again, the one time that night they had been allowed to see him he'd had a fit, literally. The dark haired man rolled over in his makeshift straw and hemp bed, but it wasn't the discomfort of the straw sticking him in the back, it was his own restlessness. He couldn't get over what Fai had done. But worst of all he couldn't decide whether he should be mad as hell or grateful to the idiot. He sighed and forced his eyes shut and the thoughts out of his head. He had to get some sleep. He was no use tired after all. He thought that would put a stop to his discomfort, but even once he was asleep his dreams were plagued by thoughts of the blonde man.

Fai had regained consciousness two hours after his attack, but once again there was very little he could do. Yet he still couldn't sleep. There were two reasons for this. One, his whole body hurt, and by hurt he meant hurt a whole lot, and two, there was a stabbing pain in his chest, not caused by any physical injury, but by the coldness Kurogane had showed to him earlier. He couldn't really expect any more than that from him though. Fai was always pushing him over the edge and he hated himself for it. He just couldn't help himself. He had never had the chance to get on someone's nerves like that before. He only ever did it because he desperately wanted to be closer to the other man but he was afraid to let him in. Hopefully he would realise that before it was too late. But with his luck he would never realise.

Morning came quickly to the small medical centre. The small group of travelers, minus the mage, had barely been awake half an hour when they had been bombarded with questions about the blonde and where they had come from. This instantly made Kurogane regret the choice to stay at the centre, even though he was glad to be close to where Fai was being taken care of. That way if anything happened he would find out straight away. And if any of the doctors did something stupid or hurt Fai in any way he could knock them silly. He had started off ignoring the nurses and their questions but when he noticed that the princess was at the edge of tears from being forced to speak extensively about her seriously ill friend, Kurogane pounded his fist down on the table in the group's apartment. The whole room fell silent and stared at the man.

"Shut up already! Can't you see they've had enough!?" he snapped at the nurses. They all left the room shortly after that, leaving the travelers alone again. Syaoran was occupied in comforting his princess so Kurogane headed out by himself to go see how Fai had fared the night. He was several paces out the door and well on his way down the hall to Fai's room when the white Manjuu bun jumpped up to his shoulder. "What do you want?"

"Mokona wants to go see Fai-san too."

"Tsk. Whatever. Just don't get too excited, the idiot needs his rest if he's gonna get any better."

"Do you think Fai-san will be okay?"

"I don't know."

When they came to Fai's room the nurse at the door said that the room was off limits to visitors, but it was not a difficult task to force his way in, even without hurting the woman. The room was dimly lit by candles placed around the room since there were no windows. Fai was in the corner bed wrapped in rough hemp blakets that, although they looked extremely uncomfortable, looked far more comfortable than the ones the others had used the previous night. The doctor beside the bed looked up at the two and moved away from the bed to meet them.

"Mr Suwa, this room is off limits-" the doctor began only to be cut off.

"And I couldn't care less," Kurogane countered blandly. "How's the idiot doing anyway?"

The doctor seemed dubious. "He's getting worse," he admitted. "We're doing all we can to stop the convulsions but it's not looking good, and his fever is rising by the minute. There might not be anything we can do."

Those words were like a sword in the chest. There had to be something they could do! There had to be!

"He's suffering a great deal, it might be best for him if we...put him out of his misery." After that Kurogane couldn't control himself. He grabbed the doctor by the collar and held a fist above his face.

"Don't even think about laying a finger on him with that intention, ever!" he growled angrily.

"Stop...Kurogane." A soft voice drifted over from the heap of blankets. It hurt to hear his full name used by the blonde but he said nothing of it. He dropped the doctor and walked over to Fai.

"Hey, idiot. Didn't know you were awake."

"I wasn't..but you woke me up..." The blonde smiled fakely. "Don't you worry..I won't die...without a fight." He chuckled breathlessly. Kurogane breathed a sigh of relief and sat next to the bed. He wanted to ask Fai why he did this if he wasn't planning on dying. Why he would do this to save him? But before the words escaped his lips, the Manjuu bun had jumped into bed next to Fai and was talking away. He would have to wait until they were alone before he could ask any questions. Now wasn't the time.


	3. that conversation will have to wait

Kurogane couldn't sleep. they hadn't let them back in to see Fai that night. They, well more kurogane, had Carried Fai to the closest town after he founds the blond unconcious and as soon as the doctors got hold of him the group got very little acces to their companion. That really got on the ninja's nerves. then again, the one time that night they had been alowed to see him he had a fit, litterally. the dark haired man rolled over in his makeshift straw and hemp bed, but it wasnt the discomfort of the straw sticking him in the back it was his own restlessness. he couldn't get over what Fai had done. But worst off all he couldn't deside wether he should be mad as hell or greatfull to the idiot. He sighed and forced his eyes shut and the thoughts out of his head. he had to get wome sleep. He was no use tiered after all. He thought that would put a stop to his discomfort but even once asleep his dreams were plagued by thoughts of the blond man.

Fai had regained conciousness two hours after his attack but once again ther was very little he could do. Yet he couldn't sleep. there were to resons for this. one, his whole body hurt, and by hurt he ment hurt a whole lot, and two there was a stabbing pain in his chest, not caused by any physical injury, but by the coldness Kurogane had showed to him earlier. He couldn't really expect anymore than that from him though. Fai was always pushing him over the edge and he hated himself for it. he just couldn't help himself. he had never had the chance to get on someones nerves like that before. he only ever did it because he desperatly wanted to be closer to the other man but he was afraid to let him in. Hopefully he would realise that before it was too late. but with his luck he would never realise.

morning came quickly to the small medical centre. the small group of travlers, minus the mage, had barely been awake half an hour when they had been bombarded with questions about the blonde and where they had come from. this instantly made kurogane regret the choise to stay at the centres he was glad to be cklose to where Fai was being taken care of. that way if anything happened he would find out straight away. and if any of the doctors did something stupid or hurt Fai in any way he coulkd knock them silly. he had started off ignoriung the nurses and their questions but when he niticed that the princess was at the edge of tears from being forced to speak extensively about her seriously ill friend. Kurogane pounded his fist down on the table in the groups appartment. the whole room fell silent and stared at the man.

"Shut up already! cant you see they've had enugh!?" he snapped at the nurses. they all left the room shortly after that. leaving the travlers alone again. Syaoran was ocupied in comforting his princessso Kurogane headed out by himself to go see how Fai had faired the night he was several paces ou the door and well on his way down the hall to Fai's room when the white Manjuu bun jumpped up to his shoulder. "what do you want?"

"Mokona wants to go see Fai-san too"

"tsk. Whatever. Just dont get too excited, the idiot needs his rest if he's gonna get any better"

"Do you think Fai-san will be okay?"

"I dont Know"

When they came to Fai's room the nurse at the door said that the room was off limits to visiters but it was not a difficault task to force his way in, even without hurting the woman. the room was dimly lighted by candles around the room since there were no windows in the room. Fai was in the corner bed wrapped in rough hemp blakets that although they looked extreamly uncomfortable, looked far more comfortable than the ones the others used the privious nigh. the docter beside the bed looked up at the two and moved awayfrom the bed to meet them.

"Mr Suwa, this room is off limits" the doctor began only to be cut off

"and I couldn't care less" Kurogane countered blandly "hows the idiot doing anyway?"

the doctor seemed dubious "he's getting worse" he admitted "were doing all we can to stop the convultions but its not looking good, and his fever is rising by the minute. there might not be anything we can do."

those words were like a sword in the chest. There had to be something they could do! there had to be!

"he's suffering a great deal, it might be best for him if we...put him out of his missery" after that Kurogane couldnt controll himself. he grabbed the doctor by the collar and held a fist above his face

"Dont even think about laying a finger on him with that intention, ever!" He growled angrily

"Stop...Kurogane" a soft voise drifted over from the heap of blankets. It hurt to hear his full name used by the blonde but he said nothing of it. he dropped the doctor and walked over to Fai.

"hey, idiot. didn't know you were awake"

"I wasn't..but you woke me up..." the blonde smiled fakely "Dont you worry..I wont die...without a fight" he chuckled breathlessly. Kurogane breathed a sigh of relief and sat next to the bed. he wanted to ask Fai why he did this if he wasn't planing on dying. why he would do this to save him but before words excaped his lips the Manjuu bun had jumped into bed next to Fai and was talking away. he would have to wait untill they were alone before he could ask any questions. now wasnt the time


	4. missunderstood emotions

Kurogane was in a tough spot. He knew full well that he had to speak with the ill mage privately as soon as he could, for if he didn't he'd never be able to clear his mind. That was all though. It's not that he really gave a damn about that idiot anyway, right? Of course not. There was no way in hell he'd ever be worried about him, even if it was his fault. No. It wasn't his fault, it was Fai's fault. But either way, that was almost imposible without rousing suspicion from the others. Whatever medication they had given the Mage had seemed to keep the spasms to a minimum, though the doctors said it would only be effective for so long. Still, they were allowed in Fai's room most the day because of it. At first glance you'd think this to be a good thing for Kurogane's situation. More time to talk right? Wrong. No matter when he showed up at the room there was always someone else. One of the kids or the Manjuu bun talking to the blonde throughout the day was really not what he had hoped for. The only time they weren't there with him was when Fai was asleep or the nurses were checking up on him. He was sure Fai knew he wanted to talk too, he was just dead set on avoiding it. That seemed just like something that idiot would do just to get on the ninja's nerves.

Kurogane watched the Mage sleep silently. It was already late in the day and he had yet to say a word to Fai at all. The children hadn't seemed to notice his frustration, and he was just hoping the cream puff wouldn't go and say something, then he'd really have to kill the thing. It didn't help the ninja's dilemma that the princess had put the search for her feathers on a hold until Fai was well again. He'd just have to wait. He was starting to wonder if he'd even get a chance to talk to him before...No, that wasn't going to happen. He wouldn't let it.

Fai stirred in his bed but he didn't seem to completely wake up because he didn't plaster on a fake smile like he had before. His face seemed worn out and weary. His eyes dull with dark rings around them and his usually pale features were something else entirely. He looked across the room at Kurogane briefly before turning his face away from his icy gaze. He was avoiding it. That Kurogane was sure of.

Fai opened his eyes a crack; they didn't seem to want to open all the way. He stayed facing the wall for a time, thinking somberly to himself. Kurogane had said very little to him. The only time Kurogane had spoken to him was the previous night and he had said very little before leaving. It was killing Fai to think Kurogane was ignoring him, avoiding him even. He had even turned to calling the dark man his full name, hoping it would ease his anger even a little, but nothing. He must truly hate him. He knew already that Kurogane was in the room but he was afraid to turn around and face him. He was afraid that if he saw those hate filled eyes that he wouldn't be able to hold back his tears like he had been this whole time. Those eyes on him hurt far more than all the physical pain he was going through. Much, much more. He took a deep breath that cracked painfully in his throat before finally turning to face the dark man. He moved slowly on to his other side, not finding the spirit in him to put up his mask. Just as he thought. Across the room stood Kurogane, his cold eyes looking straight into his. It hurt even more than expected. It was only seconds until he had to turn away again, not wanting the others to see his tears. He had to stay strong a little longer. He had to remember he was doing it for him. He heard footsteps as the other man left the room. Had he seen it? Had he seen how much it hurt? He blinked away the tears and rolled onto his back. Luckily the kids hadn't seen so he could still act normally. But it was clear even to him that his smile fooled no one.

Mokona sat next to Sakura on the couch in their small appartment. Both the girls had troubled expressions on their faces. Their thoughts were all but the same. They could both see the misunderstanding between the two men. Fai was hurting because of the way Kurogane was acting, but the way Kurogane saw it, Fai didn't want to speak with the ninja. The two were in a delicate position. There was no way to tell if intervening would do any good for them. In the end it wouldn't accomplish anything in trying to explain it to the two men. In this situation the best thing for the both of them was for them to figure it out themselves. That's how it had to be unfortunately. The princess suddenly smiled.

"Those two can be so cute some times." She giggled softly, though she was also very saddened by the situation.

"Kuro-daddy will have to realise how he feels soon or Fai-mommy might get so upset he won't forgive him." Mokona laughed sadly, snuggling up next to the princess. The two sat together talking softly, trying to lift the mood but not really accomplishing much. They both had high hopes for Fai's speedy recovery though things were looking grim, and the others had somber but more realistic outlooks on it. They both ignored them, however; they might not be realistic, but there was always hope, right?


	5. begining the end

special thanks to wolf1380! thank you for reviewing every chapter so far on my first Fic! it really means allot to me! here is a cookie! (::) hahaha! please keep reveiwing it really motovates me to keep on going! (I was really having trouble with this chap and I dont think i could have finished it without your support)

_"Yuuko, what a surprise" the blonde smiled at the projection ot the dimentional witch. the dark haired woman looked somber as she adressed the other_

_"I have to speak with Kurogane, it is rather ergent. is he nearby?" the whitch all but ignored Fai's greating in order to get straight to the point_

_"I'm afraid not, he's rather busy at the moment but if you wish I could pass on the message"_

_"very well, since it is ergent. Kurogane has contracted a very serious illness. It is best that it is kept a close eye on, othewise it could prove fatal" the Mage's eyes widened and looked taken aback_

_"Fatal? You mean he could die?" the mage seemed to have trouble taking in the information_

_"Yes, that is correct"_

_"Can't you give us a cure?! I'll pay the price no matterwhat it is!" Fai begged sounding paniced _

_"I'm afraid the price for a cure would be two high for you to aford. I'm sorry"_

_"Wait!" the mans eyes were pleading "There has to be something I can do! I'm willing to anything! I'll..." Fai stopped momenterily, struggling to find something he could do to help his friend "I'll take it on! make me sick instead of him!" he offered hopefully_

_"that I can do, but there will be a price, even though it is a sacrifice in itself"_

_"I'm willing"_

Fai woke from his nights sleep feeling about ten times worse than the day before. he couldn't even remember falling asleep. His eyes swept overe the room and to his surprise found that he was no longer in the same room as he had been since ariving at the medical centre. The room was quite simmiliar but this room was biger had more beds and a small kitchen area in the oposite corner to the Mages bed. the bed he was in was less comfortable to, not that the last onewas all that comfortable anyway. this room seemed to be living quarters not a room for patients. he took in a slow breath that smelt of dust and soot from the small fire place next to the bed. at this point nothing made very much sence to the ill man. to a normal person waking up in a strange bed in a strange room would be an uncomfortable experience let alone to someone who hadnt the strenght of mind to even remember falling asleep. He felt awkward to say the least. He attempted to move his mostly paralized body off of a perticularly uncomfortable lump in his matres with little success untill out of the blue two sets of hands came to his aid in finding a more attiquit possition.

"You shouldn't be moving too much, you'll strain yourself" Sakura said with genuin concern. her soft voise was soothing in his discomfort. Fai looked up at the two kids.

"I'm sorry...Sakura-chan" he mumbled, not being able to controll his speach well "I'll try not to" he promised. the way he was positioned he was almost sitting up and he could see even more clearly his suroundings.

"I'm sorry, you probably don't even know where you are" Syaoran sounded somewhat uneasy with the topic

Fai mearly nodded, which sent a shot of pain down his back. He grunted and let his head drop back down on the pillows. the two exchanged worried glances then looked back at the mage. Fai hated those looks. they made him feel so guilty for doing this to them. he wished they didn't have to watch him get sicker, get weaker. they both smiled sadly.

"Your in the apartment we've been staying at while we've been here" Syaoran explained calmly "the doctor said that you'd be better if you could stay around some farmiliar faces. the doctor and the nurses still come in to cheak up on you and everything but this is a bit more homely"

Fai was scilent. that ment that he'd be around Kurogane alot more, and if hee had anymore spasms that the kids would have to endure whatching it happen. The doctor must really think he had very little time left to move him somewhere like that. he wanted him to be with his friends when he past on... he knew this yet he smiled at his friends like it was nothing at all.

"I'm glad. I think I will be much more comfortable staying here" it was a lie, but he didn't want to worry them anymore than nessecery. he wa sjust glad Kurogane didn't seem to be there at the time. Sakura and Syaoran sat beside the bed and spoke to him for a time and Fai politely spoke back for as long as he could mannage, which wasnt very long, before his wearyness took over his body. the last thing he could remember hearing was

"Kurogane-san should be back soon, he's just out doing an arrend for the doctor"

kurogane had been out for the must part of the day away from the centre. After they moved Fai into their apartment he didn't want to stay there so he decided to find something, anything, to do. it just happened that the first thing he found to do was find some herbs used in the idiots medicine. It wasn't hard stuff to find but he took his time, wanting to stay out as long as possible. he wasn't comfortable with going back to see Fai but when the sun began to go down he didn't have wuch of a choise. even after headding back he didn't make it back to the appartment untill far latter untill he could be more than sure that The kids would be asleep. he opened the door slowly and slid through. the room was dark but the few candles around the place was enough to see the figures of the Kids and the Manjuu bun asleep in be. he breathed a sigh of relief and walked towards his bed.

"kuro...gane?" he turned his head quickly. in the far right corner of the room he saw Fai almost but not quite sitting up in bed. He was whatching him with tired eyes that were shining in the dim candle light. they were finally alone


	6. bitter sweet truths

**Me: sorry for not updating yesterday I was really sick~! I've been sick all week and yesterday I though I was better and it was halfway to school when I felt really sick again and went home. This was really hard for me to write and it didn't go as planed so it is terrible but please forgive me.**

kurogane looked at the withering man in the bed. He was thin, thiner than usual. His cheek bones stood out past his hollow jaw and his eyes seemed to be bottomless pits. The darker man had to struggle to keep his gaze straight on Fai, who was looking at him in almost fearful scilence. they stayed that way for a time. it was well past five minutes later when either said something.

""Why are you still awake?" Kurogane grumbled quietly, not wanting to rous the others and ruin his chance to talk privately with the mage.

"I couldn't sleep" Fai barely more than whispered in reply to the others question. There was no way that idiot was getting out of this now.

"So, you gonna explain yourself, properly, now that you have no excuse to run away from it?"

Fai dropped is head "What's the point?" he muttered bitterly "you're going to hate me all the same. its not like explaining myself will make you stop lothing my existence"

Kurogane was taken aback. That tone was not expected. it almost seemed imposible for the happy-go-lucky blond to sound so cold. and what did he mean he hated him? Kurogane was far from hating Fai.

"Idiot, why the hell would you go and say something stupid like that? Do you think I'd be talking to you now if I really hated you that much"

"dont pretend that you haven't been avoiding me this whole time. I don't care anymore I've had enough. If your too oblivious to understand then it's obviously a waist of time either way. I guess hoping for you to realise before it was too late was nave of me."

"How the hell do you expect me to understand if you wont talk to me?!" Kurogane raised his voise, still keeping quiet enough not to wake the others

"Why should you even care?!" Fai lifted himself up into a full sitting position, panting with the effort of making the slightest of movements. he placed his weight on his shaking arms to support himself "You've gone this long without caring why would you start now?!" Fai's voise was shaken and not very loud but his whole spirit was in his words "leave me alone. let me die in peace"

whith that, kurogane could no longer hold back. he grabbed the front of the others shirt and jerked him forwards. he glared at the top of Fai's head as the blonde refused to meet his gaze. "I knew you were a coward and in idiot but I didn't think you were stupid enough to say something like that" he growled agressively. now he didn't care if the others woke up. he was not going to let him do this "I don't care that you're annoying as hell, I don't care about how cowardly you are, I dont give a damn about all of that, but I'm not gonna let you give up like that. If you wannja die so bad I'll kill you later but now your going to be a man and face me!" the room fell scilent. Fais shoulders shook as soundless tears rolld down his cheeks. it broke Kurogane's heart to see him like this, but he kept up a strong front

"You idiot" he cried softly, his teary face turned slowly up to the man towering over him

"Äre you going to stop running from me now and be strong?"

"You idiot" he repeated slightly louder this time "I'm doing this all for you. aren't you satisfied already?"

"I know that but why!? Why the hell _would_ you do this for me!?" Kurogane's fist clenched and his grip on Fai tightened.

Fai turned his face away again. tears fell freely onto the bed as he continued to cry. "Because I couldn't stand the thought of whatching you go through this" he mumbled "I thought...I wouldn't be able to help you but this way it is so much easier...no-one will miss me...I have no ties to life like you do" his voise was faiding and it seemed he was putting less effort into staying up right.

Kurogane's grip losened and Fai fell back top the bed, his tousled blond hair framing his cheeks. he didn't know what to say. he had gotten an answer from him but he had never expected something like that. Fai's breathing was rough. his body probably wasn't taking all the excitement very well. Kurogane sat in a chair next to the mage's bed, whatching the exhausted man's chest rise and fall with every labored breath. He had almost forgotten in the heat of the moment how fragile he was in that state. He looked around the room and noticed the kids and Mokona were gone. tghey must have woken up and left to give the two some privacy. after a few more moments Fai's breathing still hadn't returned to normal so kurogane stood quietly.

"I'm going to go get the doctor" he reported. he started towards the door but his wrist was caught by a trembling hand. he turned back to the blonde

"No...just stay...with me..please" he begged, not letting his hand fall

"Whatever" he sat back down and the others hand retreated back to his side. they sat in scilence. neither one could find the right words to say to one another though the scilence itself spoke a million words to each of them. maybe there was more of a reason for Kurogane to care. Maybe not. either way he felt different now somehow he felt terrible to reducing Fai to tears but at the same time glad that he had gotten even a little bit closer to him. He didn't hate Fai. He felt the exact opposite. if he hated him it wouldnt hurt to see him like this but right now Kurogane felt likje he was the sick one. like he was dying.


	7. I give you my heart and soul

**new chapter~!**

Sakura, Syaoran and Mokona stood out in the shadowed hallway. the three had left after waking to a very heated conversation between the two men broke out and Sakura and Mokona had said it was best to leave them alone and dragged Syaoran from the room. He was concerned about the two left in the room and hoped that Kurogane wouldn't get too mad and hurt Fai in his weakened state. In Syaorans thoughts he imagined that it would be much better if they had tried to calm Kurogane down and stop the argument. He didn't really understand why the others suggested they be left alone but they seemed to think it a good idea. Finally, wanting an answer to his question he turned to the princess with questioning eyes. She smiled knowingly

"There's been some tension between those two since this began" she started "Kurogane-san was cofused and frustrated about what Fai-san did for him...but Fai-san thought Kurogane-san was spiting him for it, So Fai-san started to get really sad. They need to get all there pent up feelings out in the open so so they can both move past it. they will be happier that way" Sakura explained to her friend. Syaoran was still confused but he was beginihg to understand far better what had been going on between the two men.

Kurogane woke suddenly to the sound of Fai's pained scream. He shot up quickly from where he was sleeping on the chair next to Fai's bed. in the morning sunlight he could see the blonde rithing in pain, hands clutching at the bed sheets, knuckles turned white with tension. his back arched with a jolt as he screamed yet again. He was convulcing. moving quickly as the others rushed over, Kurogane took a roll of thick cloth that had been used as a cold compress and shoved it between Fai's teeth just as the doctor had to prevent him from biting his toung.

"you guys go get the doctor! **_Now!"_ **Kurogane yelled his instructions to the kids who instantly fled the room. He pushed down on Fai's shoulders, attempting to hold him still. it was several minutes until the spasms stoped and the blond curled into a ball on his side, cluching at his chest. It was that moment that the doctor and the others rushed in to the apartment. Kurogane was pushed aside as the doctor examined the blonde. he pulled the cloth from his mouth and Fai spoke.

"M-My chest...My chest h-hurts!" he gasped, curling up even tighter. his eyes were pressed shut and his teeth were gritted, fight back the erge to scream.

the doctor turned back to face the others "I think it would be best if you wait in the hallway while I do some tests." he said sternly. his expresion was dead serious. Kurogane glanced down at the blonde. He looked like he was suffering even more than before. Reluctantly he turned to leave with the children and the Manjuu bun but just like that night. he was caught by the Mage's weak hand. He looked back over his shoulder. Fai's barely opened eyes were pleading for him to stay. He couldnt ignore those eye's, even if he tried. They were tradgicly beautiful.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere" He brushed the hair out of the others face and for a moment a small, but genuine, smile passed over the blonde's pail lips.

"Th-Thank you" Fai whisper, letting his hand fall limply over the edge of the bed. Kurogane hung back as the doctor checked the man's vitals. It took about twenty minutes for the man to listen to Fai's breathing, Check his heart rate and inspect several other smaller things. when he finished with a sigh and put down his equiptment Kurogane's stomach dropped. the doctors expresion was not one to inspire confidence. at that point, Fai was fast asleep, the pained expresion still visible on his features. He looked the raiven haired man in the eye.

"I'm sorrry" he said sadly. Kurogane glared at him. he didn't like where this was going.

"Stop stalling! Tell me what I need to know. Get on with it"

"His heart isn't taking the stress well. The mucle is dying. He wont last much longer."

Kurogane sunk back into the chair. His gaze fell on the sleeping form that was Fai. He had been denying it. He knew he was but at the same time had not realised until he had heard it for real. Fai was dying. He was going to die. It wasn't fair. Fai didn't deserve to die.

_I don't think they know I'm awake._

_I don't think they know I can hear them._

_But I can._

_I hear them say I'm going to die._

_It doesn't faze me._

_as long as he's here with me when I go..._

_I am content._

Fai lay unmoving in his bed. every inch of him hurt like there was no tomorrow. But then again there probably wasn't, not for him atleast. He didn't really care when it happened. He new it was coming. He just hopped he could be with Kurogane when he finally passed on. His soul belonged to him after all.

_"You're sure about this Fai-san" the dimentional whitch asked calmly_

_"yes. I'm sure" Fai nodded_

_"the price is your soul. when you die it will go to the one you love"_

_"My soul already belongs to him in my eyes" Fai smiled saddly as he thought of the one he had grown to love with all his heart. If anyone were to keep his spirit he would be happy for it to be him._


	8. Just once before I go

**hello people. chapters may take longer now. I'm going back to school and they're going to be proofread by the amazing Walroose! no more spelling mistakes~! this chapter really had me stumped and it took an unexpected turn I thought would be fun. hope you enjoy**

**~Spinzaku04**

_itallics mean first person thought_

_I chose this for many reasons. I thought that it would provide more comfort to my friends if they had somewhere safe to reside. I imagined seeing that world once before I passed. I couldn't dream of being buried in a world that held no ties to any of us. But most of all I wanted to be close to Kurogane's heart. When the ninja joined me in death, many, many years after I'm gone, I can be with him, body and soul. I wanted Kurogane to feel comfort when the time comes, from his princess Tomoyo, so that he can forget about greiving me. I was doing it for him._

_Everything I do, I do for him._

Since Fai's condition had gotten worse Kurogane would barely leave his side unless it was completely necessary. It goes without saying that this made the mage very happy. Not his fake smiley happy though, truely happy. Maybe he wanted to be at Fai's side when he died just like he did. That was nothing more then wishful thinking, but it would do for now. The mage watched Kurogane, who had fallen asleep beside the bed only moments beforehand, silently. His stern face was there even in sleep. Fai always saw him as such a strong man, much stronger then he was. The thought made him smile sadly. He had never been anywhere near as strong as Kurogane. Of course not. Kurogane was a brave warrior, and what was Fai? A spineless Mage. Nothing more then that. That's the whole reason Kurogane would never love him. They were polar opposites. Fai was the kind of person Kurogane despised the most. When the ninja had told him that, he had smiled and brushed it off as nothing, but inside it killed him to know that was what the raven-haired man really thought of him. He wondered if back then Kurogane had learned to see through him yet, if he really knew how much it was killing him inside. Probably not. Believe it or not, Kurogane was naive. He had yet to see what Fai had been so freely displaying to him the whole time. If Kurogane had felt the same way he would have seen what he was trying to tell him, right? There was no mistaking that his feelings would never be returned but it was okay. He didn't deserve love of any kind, let alone the ninja's. There was only so much he could do. Maybe, just maybe he could make him smile at least. That would be the last thing he wanted from life. If he could make Kurogane smile he could die in peace, even if he didn't love him back.

"Fai-san," Mokona asked quietly

"Yes Mokona?" Fai smiled softly. He was feeling much better because of the medication he'd recieved but he knew it would only last so long.

"There is something weighing on your mind. You can tell Mokona what it is. Maybe Mokona can help Fai-san?" The creature snuggled up next to Fai which gave him comfort.

The children, who were cleaning the dishes in the kitchen area across the room, looked over at the blonde, waiting for his response. What they got surprised them.

"You're right Mokona-chan. There is something." Fai's voice was a little sad. "And I was wondering if you could help me fix it."

Kurogane was woken suddenly by a hand on his shoulder. His eyes shot open immediately. He had always been a light sleeper. His eyes widened and he stood quickly upon seeing Fai trying to stand from his bed, one hand on the bed and the other on the ninja for support. When Kurogane moved the blonde lost his balance and fell to the floor breathing heavily. His heart almost stopped as he watched the man fall and he instantly regretted moving so hastily.

"Damn it mage!" he yelled, kneeling down to help the other off the ground. "What the hell did you do that for!?" He grabbed Fai's arm and put it over his shoulder and put his own arm under Fai's armpit before pulling him from the ground.

"I had to...Kuro-sama," the mage managed to pant. "We're...leaving soon."

Kurogane's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean we're leaving soon?"

"Mokona-chan...is taking us to the next world...Kuro-silly." Only seconds after, the kids and the Manjuu bun came through the door and spotted the two men.

"Are you two ready to go?" Syaoran asked.

"What the hell is going on?!"

"You didn't tell him yet Fai-san?"

"Not yet. I've got a surprise for you Kuro-pii."

"What?!"

"I made another deal with Yuko"

"What!? What for!?"

"You'll see."


	9. what I'd do for you

Kurogane carried the frail blonde on his back, Fai's head resting on the formers shoulder comfortably. His golden locks spilled over Kurogane's front, lightly brushing over his collar bone as he walked towards the place where they had first landed in that world. Fai was not wearing his normal thick, winter style coats. Instead he wore a borrowed set of peasant clothes from the medical centre that were nothing more than a hemp tunic that was far too big for the man's slim figure and hung low over his shoulder, and a pair of thin leggings. Before they had left, Kurogane had been assigned the task of helping the blonde to change; that had been a very awkward experience to say the least.

"You sure you can't tell me what's going on?" Kurogane asked gruffly, looking to his side, only able to see the mess of blonde hair instead of Fai's face. He heard a small chuckle of a laugh in his ear.

"Be patient...Kuro-sama," he breathed weakly into Kurogane's ear. He doubted that the others could even hear him. The incident earlier when Fai had tried to get out of bed on his own had taken a lot out of the mage and now he could barely keep himself awake. "I promise...that it will be...even better that way." It annoyed the ninja that Fai refused to tell him what they were doing, but he didn't say too much of it. Fai seemed to be looking forward to it a great deal, even if he didn't have the energy to show it the way he usually would. Kurogane could only imagine Fai in full health as excited as he was now. That put a small flicker of a smile on his face. It felt like an eternity since the last time he saw Fai that way. He was actually beginning to miss it.

"Here will do," Fai whispered into the other man's ear and he signaled the others to stop. They were at the edge of the field, on the outskirts of the woods but this time the feeling of panic wasn't there like the first time in the darkness. Now the sun was shining brightly and the grass was shining brightly in reflection to the beautiful day.

"Mokona-chan...are you ready?" Fai lifted his head slightly from Kurogane's shoulder so he was facing the small creature. Kurogane could feel his soft hair on his cheek. Even after everything it was still so soft...

"Mokona doesn't have to do anything this time!" Mokona declared from Syaoran's shoulder.

"What do you mean Manjuu," Kurogane demanded of the creature.

"Yuuko has a better way so we can make sure we land in the right place!" Mokona explained. "Everyone put your hand out so I can give them to you." Mokona opened her mouth and everyone put out their hand. Five individual balls of light came from Mokona's mouth and went to one of the travelers each before forming into golden circlets and landing in their outstretched hands. Kurogane examined the piece of jewelry. The gold was molded into elegant patterns and at the front of the ring was a beautiful elliptical saphire gem that reminded him of Fai's eyes. Fai lifted one hand to place his on Kurogane's head with a faint smile as it rested crookedly on the others head. Kurogane gently placed his on top of Fai's head and it settled midway on his forehead. The dark haired man couldn't help but realise how the gold complemented Fai's pale features. Once everyone had theirs on Mokona spoke again.

"Now is everyone ready?" she asked eagerly. Everyone nodded. "Good now we can go! Yay!"

Suddenly, Kurogane felt the golden ring squeeze around his head and he tried to pull it off but it wouldn't budge. He looked at the others who also seemed to be having the same problem. Then, his eyes began to blur and he began to lose his balance but he fought to retain it for fear of hurting Fai.

"What's going on Manjuu!?" He yelled. A soft hand touched his cheek.

"It's okay Kuro-pii..." Fai's voice was even softer. The weight he had been carrying began to pull away and soon enough it was gone. He spun around quickly only to see Fai was gone. He looked around franticly but saw no one. Seconds after everything went black.

One may call what came next a dream but that was not the case. In this case it was memories that he saw. Memories of a certain blonde mage.

~~It was pouring rain, I remember that I didn't care though. All I cared about was getting back to where I came from, getting away from whoever these strangers were. I was fuming in anger. I didn't want to be there but then I looked around at the others who stood silent to the side of me and I saw a man standing only metres away. His deep, ocean blue eyes were distant and a small smile plastered on his lips as rain dampened his hair. The look in his eyes was one of someone still coming to terms with great loss.~~

~~"Hey, Kuro-puu." The blonde I had come to know as the magician named Fai chirped brightly. My eye twitched and I yelled at him for calling me such childish things. I couldn't stand it. It wasn't the names themselves, although they too were irritating, but the fact that no one had ever had the nerve to call me by a nickname before. Everyone I knew was scared of me, and treated me with respect but Fai was different. He didn't fear me like other people did, even if I threatened him, he would laugh like it was all a joke. What the Hell was with this guy?!~~

~~"It seems there's something wrong with my leg. But don't worry, I'm sure I'll live." I looked down at the blonde. He'd gone and gotten himself hurt by the oni. It wasn't much, sure but that was no reason for him to act like such an idiot about it. I don't know why it made me so mad... It just did.

"I'm sure you'll live too but I dont know why you bother." My voice was cold. I didn't know how to address him any other way. He just watched me silently, taking every word as it came. I couldn't remember the exact words I said to him if I tried but I remember seeing the look on his face, the look of pain and fear that he tried so hard to hide. "It's people like you that I really hate," was the last thing I said. Those words hit him hard but he still smiled, a big, phony smile.

"I guess you must hate me the most." There was so much hurt in his voice that I almost felt guilty. But it was something he had to hear. Secretly, I knew I was doing it because I didn't want him to give up on life. Not yet.~~

Kurogane woke with a start. He sat up quickly, looking around the room. The others were nowhere to be seen. He stood and hurried out the door. Not even taking the time to notice something he thought he could never miss. The hall was empty but he could faintly hear voices from one of the rooms further down the hall. He was careful to move quietly as he made his way down the sun-bathed walkway. This place felt familiar but his mind was somewhere else. As he reached the door to the room where the voices were coming from, he picked out the sound of the kid and the princess speaking. His nerves calmed slightly and he slid open the panel door. His eyes widened as he saw a young woman with tanned skin talking to the two kids.

"S-Soma?" The woman looked over and the children's eyes followed.

The woman grinned at the man in the door. "Welcome back Kurogane-san," she greeted. It was then that he realised where he was. He recognised everything there, why had he not realised sooner? The kids smiled at him, both wearing traditional Japanese attire and appeared to be well groomed.

"We're glad you're awake Kurogane-san," Sakura said by way of greeting. Kurogane probably should have greeted her back but he couldn't speak. Why would Fai bring him here? Then it hit him. Where was Fai?

"Tomoyo-hime and that blonde guy are in the next room over if you want to see them," Soma put in absently, seeming to enjoy the baffled look on Kurogane's face.

"His name is Fai, not 'that blonde guy' got it?" he growled before leaving the room. He was still confused but questions could wait. Making sure Fai was okay came first. He stopped at the door to the next room and pressed his ear against it to listen. He could hear Tomoyo's voice. He had to strain his ears to hear what she was saying.

"You're a good man Fai-san," she said softly. "You did for Kurogane-san what I could not. It is because of you that he can come back here now. I thank you for teaching him true strength." Kurogane's eyes widened. That meant he could stay here. He was home. He slid open the door and the princess Tomoyo, who was kneeling next to the bed, let her eyes drift to meet his with a soft smile. They stayed like that for some time until Kurogane's gaze moved to where Fai was laying on the heap of thick blankets. His eyes were closed and his face was peacful. The golden circlet was still fixed around his head but he had been changed out of the peasant rags and was now wearing a beautifully crafted white and blue robe with patterns that resembled that of the golden circlet he wore. He could only see the top half though since the rest of him was covered by blankets.

"Welcome Kurogane-san. I'm glad to see you back again so soon," the princess acknowleged.

"Tomoyo-Hime..." Tomoyo noticed that the man's eyes failed to leave the blonde and returned to applying a cold compress to Fai's forehead.

"He hasn't woken yet since you arrived. The children only just woke a short while ago but I think it may take a while longer for Fai-san to come to," she told the ninja, who knelt to the opposite side of the sleeping mage. Gently, he separated the hair from his face and tried to remove the circlet but found that it would not move.

"What...?" He felt his head. His was gone, and he couldn't remember the kids wearing one.

"Don't worry, it won't hurt him," Tomoyo assured him.

"Why won't it come off?"

"I don't know. But I believe he knows." They boh looked down at the sleeping form. "Be grateful to him, Kurogane-san," she said suddenly. "He has done a lot for you without once thinking of himself."

"I know..." Kurogane's fists clenched. "He's an idiot."

Tomoyo smiled before standing to leave the room. "I only wish I could do something to help him." She left the ninja alone with the sleeping man. Kurogane barely noticed her leave.


	10. past, presant, and future

~~That day I barely noticed him there. I was so distracted after everything that happened that I couldn't_ have been thinking straight. I said nothing to the others there. At that point I still had the thought in my head that those other people I was destined to travel with had nothing to do with me, that even though I had to be by their side for a long time that we could never really be friends because we would never be the same. Oh, boy did that change. I couldn't help myself however. I glanced across to my side and looked at this tall, dark man. He was a ball of fire and rage somehow, that intrigued me a great deal.~~_

~~"Hey, Kuro-puu." I nagged him, I had to try it. I wanted to see how he'd react. Of course he yelled at me, how could he not? But I didn't stop. I couldn't help myself. I had never given someone a nickname before and it gave me a feeling of closeness that I couldn't resist. So I smiled foolishly despite being called an idiot or being threatened, because I'd never gotten so much emotion out of anyone before and I couldn't get enough of it. When I teased him, I wanted him to yell, I wanted him to chase me. I know it's selfish. But I couldn't bring myself to stop. I hate myself for it, and I know he hates me for it too.~~

~~I watched as he looked down at me. He looked as if he was going to do what the oni could not; run me through with his sword. If only he hadn't broken it. If only he hadn't tried to save me. The oni we fought were not strong enough to kill me, even if I didn't use my magic. It's a shame because I know he wishes I would go and die but yet he won't stand back and watch me die. How indecisive.

"It seems there is something wrong with my leg, but don't worry, I'm sure I'll survive somehow." I pretended to laugh it off but this time he glared hard at me.

"I'm sure you'll live too, but I don't know why you bother." His voice was so cold it sent shivers down my spine. I just watched him in shock as he slowly destroyed the mask I had tried so hard to keep up at all times.

"It's people like you I really hate." Those last words killed me a little more inside. We hadn't known each other for all that long and I was only just beginning to warm up to my companions, learning that I had been wrong to think I didn't need them. I relied on them, Kurogane in particular.

"Then I guess you must hate me the most." I tried my hardest to act like it was all in good humor but I was holding back tears through the whole speech. Next time I was alone, I did cry. I cried because the one I cared about most couldn't care less about me. It hurt.~~

Fai opened his eyes slowly and closed them almost immediatedly as the early-afternoon sun bathed the room with bright light.

"Hello? Fai-san?" He let his eyes open again, blinking rapidly in the light until his eyes focused on the face in front of him. A young, round face framed with elegant black tendrils. The young woman smiled at him calmly.

"Good afternoon Fai-san, I'm glad I can finally meet you properly." There was something about her that Fai recognised. Wait, was she...

"T-Tomoyo-Hime?" he asked weakly.

"Yes. I believe you would have heard of me from Kurogane-san." Fai smiled and closed his eyes briefly. He was relieved that everything had worked out how he'd planned.

"I hope I haven't caused any problems, just showing up like this."

"It is not a problem. I already knew you were coming for some time."

"I thought as much, but it seemed like the courteous thing to say. Where are the others now?" He glanced out the open window as a cool breeze swept through the room.

"Syaoran-san and Sakura-san are out right now, Kurogane-san is out though. Kurogane didn't leave your side for the past three days but I managed to convince him to get some fresh air this morning. He might not be too thrilled that he wasn't here when you did wake up." Fai laughed slightly.

"I don't know about that..." Even talking was a strain. He was already beginning

to feel exhausted but he did his best to hide it. "Kuro-pii isn't one to give me that kind of attention." Fai couldn't keep the sadness from his smile any longer. Tomoyo gave him a knowing look.

"You would be surprised by what Kurogane-san is capable of. Hope is not lost just yet Fai-san."

"You really think that, Tomoyo-Hime?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes, Kurogane-san feels strongly about you, that much I know, but the rest is up to the events that follow."

"Then I wont give up, not just yet..."

Kurogane arrived back later that evening with what he had set out to get. As a child he had done the same thing many times, although a lot less successfully. He carried with him a bucket containing several living fish from a river that ran close to his old home town and went as far as only an hour's walk from his present residence. He remembered a story that he had been told. It said that if someone ate a fish from that stream their health would improve. He had gone out to catch fish for his mother many times but he never would have imagined that one day he would be catching them for Fai. He carried the bucket into the kitchen and put the fish beside the pantry. He left then to check on the mage. When he reached about halfway to the end of the hall someone called him from behind.

"Kurogane-san!" He spun around and saw Sakura running towards him.

"What's wrong?!" he demanded quickly.

"It's Fai'san!" She reached him panting.

"What?!"

"We can't find him!" Kurogane's eyes widened significantly.

"H-He woke up a few hours ago a-and I was watching him. He asked me to get him some water and when I came back h-he was gone!" She was an the verge of tears as she stuttered her explanation. Kurogane cursed under his breath and ran down the hall towards the gardens. He knew that the others would have already searched inside. He looked around frantically in every corner of the gardens. When he reached the Sakura tree he was getting desperate. His eyes skimmed quickly over the area but saw nothing. Where the hell was he!?

He came to a stop under the large blossoming tree, not knowing what to do from there. Suddenly, he heard a weak laugh from somewhere. He looked around quickly but saw nothing.

"Fai?!" he called. "Where the hell are you?!"

"Up here, Kurogane." The ninja looked up to see Fai laying flat on a broad branch a metre or so over Kurogane's head.

"What the hell are you doing up there!?" Kurogane shouted. "Sakura-Hime was in tears worrying over you, idiot!" Kurogane left out how concerned he was.

"I'm sorry...I just couldn't wait around any longer. I saw the garden from my room and I couldn't help myself...I couldn't just look at it...I had to come out to see it up close." Kurogane snarled.

"How did you get up there anyway!?"

"Guess." Kurogane pulled himself up to the branch to face Fai. He growled.

"Doesn't matter, I'm taking you back to your room," Kurogane said patiently, grabbing Fai and tossing him over his shoulder to carry him. He probably could have been more gentle but this way was best.

"No~! Kurogane I want to stay here~!" he whined, struggling weakly in the ninja's grip.

"Stop moving, you're not going to stay in a tree. Got it?"

"But it's so beautiful out here."

"You can watch from the window." Kurogane jumped down from the tree, taking the complaining Fai with him.


	11. Feverish delusions

Fai didn't even make it back to the room before falling asleep again. Kurogane, now carrying the limp man bridal style, walked down the hall towards where he knew the kids would be talking to Tomoyo, telling her their precious mage was missing. He was sure Tomoyo had known where Fai was. It was probably Tomoyo who helped the blond idiot into the tree, but he still had to make sure the kids weren't still panicking over him. He felt small breaths blow rutinely on his arm, showing small signs of life from the otherwise dead looking man. dispite Fai's palid, clamy skin and other sickly features, Fai seemed to be improving a great deal. He hadn't had any spasms since they had arrived and he was sleeping less fitfully now. Maybe there was hope for Fai yet. Maybe he wasn't going to die. Kurogane couldn't help but smile at that possiblity. that hope, however, was shattered upon entering the the princess's court.

holding Fai close, he entered Tomoyo's court. his eyes fell on somber faces around the room. Syaoran and Sakura exchanged glances upon the ninja's arrival and Tomoyo gave him a sad greeting smile. his stomach dropped at the sight.

"What's going on here?" He growled susspitiously. for a moment, no one said a word, the only sound was a small hick from a crying Mokona. Fai whimpered and shifted in his arms, the cold metal circlet brushing his bare skin and catching the ninja's attention.

"Come, Kurogane-san" Tomoyo aprouched him. "Fai-san should be resting in bed now, once he's settled in we need to have a little talk."

Kurogane nodded mutely and followed his princess out, leaving the kids and the Manjuu bun behind. As much as he tried he could not rid himself of the sinking feeling in his stomach. he new something was wrong, that much is obvious, but what had them all so taken aback?

Kurogane supported the sleeping man to his shoulder with one arm and opened the door to the mages room with the other. Tomoyo straightened the covers on the bed and Kurogane placed the blonde carefully into his place. his face looked to be disturbed by the sudden loss of Kurogane's warmth. Kurogane also felt strange releasing his traveling companion.

"Well?" Kurogane persued, looking at the princess tomoyo. She gave him a small smile.

"As impatient as ever, Kurogane-san" she sat by Fai's side and brushed blonde hair out of his face.

"Something's going on, and I want to know what."

"I assumed you would. Fai-san should wake by this evening, once he wakes you may want to be prepared tosay your farewells to him." kurogane's eyes widened

"What do you mean?!"

"He may not have much time left"

"But he's been improving! not getting worse!"

"I'm sorry, Kurogane-san, but I haven't been entirely honest with you"

"What?!"

"When you and the others first arrived here, before you ore your friends woke, Fai was in a bad way" The princess started, still stroking Fai's pail locks "He had a high fever and his heart rate was abnormal, the doctors we brought in said that he would pass within the next forty-eight hours. W e tried many things to help him but nothing seemed to work, until a healer brought special herbs for his madecine. It helped a great deal and Fai soon began to return to normal, at that point you were still asleep, so were the others." Tomoyo paused as Fai stired again, a small pained moan excaping his throught.

"If it helped so much, why is he dying!?" Kurogane yelled, the sudden noise causing the sleeping man to screw up his face and roll over. Tomoyo shushed him and continued to comfort Fai.

"It is not a long lasting remmidy. He would have to take the medicine every day for the remainder of his life to ensure that he would not revert back to a worsened state, and he would still be weak"

"Then he'll take it for the rest of his life, damn it! if he refuses I'll force him!"

"Thats not the problem. The herb is rare and not found in this area,we have already run out. Syaoran-san and Sakura-san have already considered traveling to the north to find more but there may not be time."

Kurogane cleanched his fists tightly. "I'll go too, I'll make sure they dont get held up by anything!"

"No, you want what is best for Fai's well being, correct? If so then you will stay here, with him"

"How the hell will that help anything!?"

"Fai-san's mentle state..." Tomoyo sounded uneasy and turned to Fai's sleeping face. "is very dellecate. You have already caused much turmoil to him,and if you leave him alone now he will only come to doubt himself more."

"What do you mean?"

Tomoyo sighed. she placed a hand on the mage's forehead. "He has a lot of ishues, from when he was young. trusting people is hard for him and he feels strong self lothing. If you leave now he will feel a burrden to you. Fighting illness is hard if you feel dejected." she removed her hand "He's running a fever" she anounced, standing and walking towards the door "I'll send for someone to bring him a compress." She left, leaving Kurogane to stare down at Fai's sleeping form. _Damnit Fai, _he thought desperately. _I didnt ask you to save my life._

Everything was fuzzy. His head was spinning. he had to open his eyes. Slowly, he forced his eyes to open to see the ceiling above his head. something wasn't right. His eyess drifted to his left and he froze. Kurogane was sitting with his arms crossed, glaring down at him.

"Kurogane?" He mumbled drowsily.

"look who finally desided to wake up!" his voice was filled with anger

"I'm sorry, did I sleep that lo-"

"Shut up for once why dont you!?" there was more acid in his voise than usual. it scared Fai.

"Is everything alright Kurogane?" he asked with genuin concern. he sat up and gave him a soft, questioning look. he was met by a cold glare.

"No, everything is not alright!" Kurogane growled "Those damn brats went on to find the girls feathers and refused to take you with them! Now I'm stuck with you!" Fai flinched at those words.

"They left?"

"yes, they did! They couldn't stand waisting anymore time on the damn mage!"

Fai couldn't beleive it. The kids really felt that way about him? Fai had started feeling like an adopted father to Syaoran and Sakura. He thought he had taken good care of them. Did they really think he was a dead weight? the thought brought him close to tears.

"Hurry up and die already! then I wont be stuck with you!" Fai felt the ninja's words peirce his heart. he looked back at the man he loved who was glaring daggers at him. tears rolled down his cheaks at he suddenly felt weak. He fell back into bed as Kurogane stomped out of the room.

"Stupid!" he told himself, burrying his face in his pillow. "everybody hates me! I should except that by now! But..." but Kurogane always made him so happy. he sobbed quietly, feeling as though his world had crumbbled

Kurogane whipped the tears from the sleeping mans cheeks. He felt useless, sitting there as Fai cried and moaned in his sleep. He had tried waking him, but Fai's fever had rendered him unwakeable and dellusional. he placed the compress back on the others sweaty forehead. Fai involenterily sighed in releaf at the cold touch. The door slid open and a young wan with a bowl of water came in.

"another compress and more water" He reported, setting the bowl down beside the bed. He then proceded to pull the blankets off the bed and disrobe Fai's top half. Kurogane felt awkward watching the young healer work. he could see Fai's whole body tense when the healer whiped the compress down the blondes chest then down his abdomen. The healer placed the compress back into the bowl and pressed his ear to Fai's bare chest.

"Flowright-san's heart is racing and his breathing is irregular. Side effects from his fever as far as I can tell but if his heart rate doesn't return to normal it could end in sever heart failure." his voise was serious. "I have something that can help but I have to go retreive it. until I return try cool him down and keep him calm." Kurogane nodded and allowed the young man to leave before returning his attention to Fai. He took the compressin one hand and copied what the had done, whiping the the blondes upper body gentily.

"you're going to kill yourself if you keep going like this" Kurogane said, rubbing Fai's chest soothingly. His soft touch seemed to calm Fai's nightmares. "nice try, but I'm not letting you die that easily." Fai's breathing calmed sugnifficantly as Kurogane continued to rub soft circles on Fais skin, down his chest to his abdomen. Fai liked the human contact. He remembered the one other time before all this happened Fai had been sick, when they were alone in Yama. He had food poisoning. Yama was much like Nihon so Kurogane was use to the food but Fai was not so lucky. Ofcourse Fai hadn't told him that he was sick, he had found out when he found the feverish blonde vomiting outside their tent in the midle of the night. That night he spent most of his time either rubbing Fais back to assist the blondes reatching or trying to sooth his fever. and the whole time, whenever he toutched the mage he would sigh as if it were lifting a huge weight from his shoulders.

"Ku-Kurogane" Fai whimpered as he removed his hand to retreive the compress.

"yeah, yeah, I'm hear just hold on a second." he wringed out the cloth and dabbed it on his neck.

"How is he fairing?" the healer asked as he re-entered the room, carrying several bottles.

"I managed to calm him down a bit." Kurogane took his hand away and the blond whimpered. The healer gave him a strange look and kurogane felt heat raising in his cheeks. "He's an idiot" he grumbled. The healer gave him a smile, setting down the bottles.

"Don't stop on my account, he seemed to be responding to whatever it was you were doing"

"Tsk, whatever." Kurogane returned to brushing the compress on Fai's sweaty skin. Fai melted at the touch. The healer started mixing things into a small cup.

"Tomoyo-hime told me about you" he said off handedly "she sent you to travle with Flowright-san"

"Yeah that's right"

"So, how long were you travling with him?" Kurogane shrugged slightly

"Don't know, got to be a while now. a year...maybe two"

"I guesss it's no wonder you seem so close then. that's quite a long time to spend so much time together"

Kurogane said nothing. He was about to say that theyb bweren't close but he stoped himself. They weren't not close. there were times when they got along almost like friends, about as much like friends as they could be.

"guess so."

The healer took the mixed concoxtionand held it out to Kurogane. "I don't think he'd like it if I tried to give it to him. you'd better do it." The young man smiled as Kurogane took the cup. "Squeeze his jaw tightly so his mouth opens, hold it tight then slowly pour it down his throught. thats the best way to do it" he instructed.

carefully, Kurogane grasped Fai's chin and applied presure to both jaw joints, forcing his mouth open. with his free hand, he began to pour it into his mouth. it seemed easy enough, but Fai desided to change that. Kurogane stopped th flow of liquid when the blond began to gag and cough.

"looks like we'll have to try another way. It may hurt him but he wont be able to gag like that"

Kurogane glared at the healer, who seemed to shrink under the look.

"I-It wont hurt him much! I promise! It just m-might leave a bruise!" he assured the larger man nerviously. Kurogane let it slide. "okay, pour it all into his mouth then hold it closed. once you've done that rub your hand hard over his throught until he swallows atleast three times." he did as he was told. once he had seen Fai swallow correctly, he let him go and Fai gasped breathlessly.

Kurogane looked at the healer as Fai almost instantly calmed.

"not bad, kid" he complimented gruffly. The healer laughed slightly.

"Please, call me Kaoru." he told him "and I did what I could but it may not be enough to save him-"

"maybe, but he'd last a lot less without help."


	12. Midnight Goodbyes

Syaoran glanced over his shoulder at Sakura. She was already prepared for travel. He would have preferred that she stay, but he knew she had an unwavering determination to help the ill mage. There was no way he could oppose that. She strapped a secure bag around her waist and turned to face the brunette. She smiled softly at him. She hadn't smiled fully since Fai fell ill, but that small smile was still enough to raise the boy's spirits.

"Let's head out. Are you sure you have everything, Hime?" Syaoran asked his princess.

"Yes, I'm all ready to go, but..." She looked slightly uneasy.

"What is it Hime?"

"It doesn't feel right to leave without saying goodbye to Fai-san... but he hasn't woken yet." She frowned.

It was late into the night already and Fai was showing no signs of waking. Kurogane had been with him all afternoon; well, pretty much the whole time they had been in Nihon Kurogane had been at the mage's side.

"Last time I heard he was still fast asleep. But we can still say goodbye if you wish Hime," Syaoran offered, knowing that it would make the princess happy. He also wanted to check up on Fai and Kurogane.

"Really?" Sakura's eyes lit up eagerly, causing Syaoran to smile.

"Of course."

It would be a lie to say Kurogane wasn't tired. He had barely slept a wink in days. Unlike Fai, who had barely been awake since their arrival in Nihon. Kurogane watched the blonde's chest rise and fall with every steady intake. He would have gone to sleep himself some time ago, but he couldn't shake the anxiety that he felt every time he left Fai's bedside. Fai squirmed under the blankets, something he had been doing quite often, but didn't wake. It felt like he was on the edge of waking but couldn't. It was frustrating.

The door slid open slowly. Kurogane looked over to see who had entered. Mokona, who was sleeping next to Fai, made no move. Syaoran and Sakura stood at the far end of the small room, looking down at Fai. They were both fully dressed for travel. Kurogane assumed they'd be leaving soon.

"How are you feeling, Kurogane-san?" Sakura asked. Kurogane gave her a bemused look. He had not expected to be asked how he was.

He shrugged. "Fine."

"And Fai-san?" The girl knelt on the opposite side of Fai's bed with Syaoran.

"He's okay for now. He moves around a lot like he's going to wake up but he doesn't," Kurogane answered, and as if to prove his words, Fai squirmed again, knocking Mokona from her resting place on the bed, onto the floor. Mokona instantly jumped back on to Fai's chest, rambling on about how she wished he'd wake up.

Sakura looked slightly disappointed that he was still sleeping but still smiled at the blonde.

"We just came to say goodbye before we left," Syaoran explained. Kurogane had guessed that much.

"Sorry that we have to leave without giving you a proper farewell Fai-san," Sakura said softly to the sleeping man. "We will try be back very soon. I promise. And when we get back we will have what we need to make you healthier again." She bent down to give Fai a small kiss on the forehead. "Goodbye Fai-san," she said, close to tears.

A disturbed look crossed Fai's features at those words, and squirmed somewhat more viciously than before.

"N-no...Saku..ra-chan," he mumbled. Sakura's eyes widened slightly.

Kurogane leaned forward to look closer at the man, just in time to see his face twitch and sapphire blue eyes slide open.

"I'm sorry...Sakura-chan...Syaoran-kun" Fai's eyes were moist with tears, that puzzled the small group.

"F-Fai-san-" Syaoran started but stopped when Fai forced himself to sit up.

"I'm okay...please...don't leave." His strength gave out and he slumped forward. Kurogane supported him.

"What the hell are you thinking? Just lay back down and let them go." Kurogane made the blonde lay back in bed. "They won't be long, three days tops."

Fai looked slightly surprised. "T-three days?" he echoed. "So, they aren't leaving us behind to continue the journey?" He smiled tiredly.

"Of course not Fai-san!" Sakura blurted out. "We would never leave you behind! The feathers are important but so are you. You're just like a big brother Fai-san. You're part of the family, I can't imagine leaving without you." She looked on the verge of tears as she squeezed the mage's hand.

Fai gave her a teary-eyed smile. "Thank you..."

"We're only leaving to gather more medicine, that's all," Syaoran said softly.

Fai practically laughed with relief and let the children say goodbye. Everyone was a little confused about Fai's outburst, but they kept to themselves as they bid the two that were to stay behind farewell.

Fai hadn't gone back to sleep since the kids left. He just lay in bed, staring at the roof in silence. Kurogane watched him for some time and unknowingly, he drifted into sleep.

His dreams were strange. He saw his parents... and at their side were two identical blonde men, one smiling and waving extravagantly at him, the other seemingly more occupied with his look-alike. Then, they faded, gone from his mind like they had never been there in the first place. By the time he woke again, breakfast was being brought in.


	13. Why would you stay?

There was an incident at breakfast that Kurogane really should have seen coming. Fai, who seemed to be great at almost everything he tried, could not use chopsticks. Kurogane watched, slightly amused, as Fai fought an unwinnable war against the utensils that refused to work with him. Kurogane saw the blonde's efforts become less and less as he realised that he wasn't getting it anytime soon.

Without a word of warning, Kurogane grabbed the mage's wrist with one hand and repositioned the chopsticks with the other.

"You're holding them wrong," he explained off-handedly, fixing Fai's grip on the two small sticks. Fai smiled at him with a light chuckle.

"Kurogane, what would I do without you?" he mocked. There was his name again. Kurogane. Since when did the blonde decide to call him that all the time? It felt so cold. So formal...like Fai was closing off from him even more.

Kurogane grunted in reply, focusing on correcting the blonde's hold on the utensils. Fai's hands shook unsteadily as Kurogane brought his hands away. He managed to keep his hold on the chopsticks for around three seconds before they slipped out of place. Fai sighed with disappointment.

"I'm not really hungry anyway." He smiled, placing the chopsticks back on his tray of food.

Kurogane didn't like that. Fai had barely eaten a thing since he fell ill, which couldn't be helping his condition. Not to mention, he wanted Fai to eat the fish that he had caught in the river. Without a second thought, Kurogane picked up the blonde's chopsticks and used them to pick up a sliver of fish and hold it to the others lips.

Fai gave him a blank, rather confused look.

"Eat," the darker commanded sternly.

Slowly, almost cautiously, Fai parted his pale lips and allowed Kurogane to deliver the fish to his mouth. Fai looked rather uncomfortable being fed, but nonetheless let Kurogane continue. He had eaten about half the fish on the plate before telling the other he had eaten enough, so Kurogane went back to eating his meal after taking Fai's food tray away.

Fai shifted awkwardly in his bed. He had felt extremely uncomfortable being fed, he couldn't bare to think of how Kurogane must have felt. Someone like him must have felt completely stupid doing that! Yet Kurogane still did it for him. Did he feel like he had to? Like it was his responsibility? Why else would he do it? Just like him staying by his bedside, taking care of him. He must have felt responsible. Fai felt a sinking feeling in his gut. He looked at the raven haired-man who was still eating his breakfast. He couldn't help but feel guilty.

Kurogane finished his meal and put it aside. Fai quickly looked away so he wouldn't know he'd been staring. He knew he had to say something.

"Sorry," he said softly, receiving a puzzled look from the ninja. "You really don't have to do this for me. I know you hate being around me. I don't want to stop you from doing what you want to, if you feel like its your responsibility." Fai smiled at him. "I don't mind."

Fai waited for a response, still smiling.

"I'm not forcing myself, idiot! And I don't feel responsible." Fai's eyes widened slightly. "And I don't hate being around you either, you're just too stupid to realise it." Fai stared at the darker face; it was stern and serious. He tore his gaze away.

But that had to be it, why else would he be doing all this? It was the only reason he could think of but now, Kurogane was denying it. Fai couldn't stand it.

"Then why?" he muttered softly.

"Why what?"

"Why are you doing all this!? Why do you stay with me night and day? Why do you take care of me? Why do you even care!?" he snapped. He couldn't hold back anymore, he was losing his hold on his composure completely.

Fai held back tears in painful silence, almost begging Kurogane to say something.

"I don't know," Kurogane said finally. "I don't know why I stay by your side. I don't know why I take care of you. I don't know why I care. But I'm not going to stop."

"You don't know..?" Fai echoed painfully. He let tears roll down his cheeks, too exhausted to hold them back. Damn it Kurogane, why did you have to be so confusing.

Fai gasped suddenly as he felt a gentle hand brush past his cheek. He looked up to see it was Kurogane wiping the tears from his cheeks.

"Idiot. That's no reason to go get all upset." Fai felt more tears well in his eyes and he burried his face in Kurogane's chest.

"I-I'm sorry" he mumbled to the other who rubbed his back comfortingly.

"You don't have to be sorry... I know how you are with people." There was a slight hint of discomfort in his voice. "Tomoyo-Hime said you didn't trust people so much. So I guess it's understandable that you'd get upset over something like this."

Fai frowned slightly. "That's not it," he barely more than whispered, pushing himself off of the other.

"What is it then?"

Fai's heart began to pound. He couldn't tell him...but he felt so close to finally being able to get it off his chest. He already knew Kurogane didn't feel the same but he deserved to know. Didn't he?

Fai took a deep breath looking up at Kurogane. He was still almost on his lap but he didn't feel awkward at all.

"Spill it mage," Kurogane urged. Fai closed his eyes, willing the tears to stop before returning his gaze to the man in front of him.

"Kurogane...I-I," Before he could finish his sentence he felt a wave of pain wash over him and his muscles tensed. His eyes widened. Not again...


	14. Soul

Kurogane looked into Fai's deep blue eyes as the slighter man spoke to him. Fai wasn't hiding behind his mask anymore, he was showing how he really felt, he had even cried. Kurogane had felt so helpless, watching tears stain such a perfect face. He wanted to make then stop, to make Fai happy. He didn't know why he suddenly felt so strongly that he needed to protect Fai, but he couldn't stop the feeling, and he wasn't sure he wanted to either.

"It's because, I...I-" Kurogane felt Fai stiffen under his grasp and the words stopped coming. He instantly knew something was wrong.

"Oi? You okay?" he asked, not bothering to mask the worry in his voice. Fai didn't answer. His nails dug into Kurogane's clothes.

"I..I'm sorry." More soft tears fell from those perfect eyes and a soft smile formed on his lips. "Please...forget I said anything."

Suddenly, the blue gem on Fai's circlet began to glow a dull light unlike anything Kurogane had seen before. It was only a very dull light but something about it wasn't even close to normal. Fai's eyes rolled back in his head as the glow became stronger, drawing the other's attention away from the light.

Fai collapsed into Kurogane's lap, his breathing shallow and shaking slightly as the gem continued to glow the same pale blue light.

"Fai! Hey, wake up!" Kurogane pulled Fai's torso up and supported him in a sitting position but Fai was unresponsive. He held the thin man like that for a moment, looking at Fai's pale face with worry. The ninja swore under his breath and placed Fai back down in his bed. He had forgotten all about the witch's circlet around Fai's head. Was it hurting him? Why the hell was it glowing like that?!

Kurogane stayed by Fai's side as his breathing returned to normal and he stopped shaking before leaving him behind reluctantly to find Tomoyo and the Manjuu bun, who, if he remembered correctly, were residing in Tomoyo's quarters most of the time. He had delayed going to the witch for an answer but if that thing was hurting Fai then he had to do something about it immediately. He didn't trust the witch at all, he never had. She was a deceiving, cheating...well, witch was probably the best word to describe her.

He barged into Tomoyo's quarters without so much as a knock on the door. The princess Tomoyo and Mokona were seated together drinking tea when he pushed through the door, causing Mokona to spill the tea in surprise. The two looked over at the man, confused.

"Kuro-pi? What's wrong?" the white manjuu asked. She bounced over to Kurogane and landed on his shoulder.

"Yes, is something wrong?" Tomoyo added.

"Manjuu, call the witch," Kurogane commanded sternly.

"Kuro-"

"Just do it!" Mokona nodded silently and started the transmission. Kurogane had no time to put up with Mokona's needless questioning at this point. Right now the most important thing to him was making sure Fai was okay. The image came into focus and Kurogane could see the time-space witch fixing her hair in front of a circular mirror fixated on a plain wooden wall. Yuuko looked back at them, letting her hair fall back over her shoulders and the rims of her pitch black silken dress. She smiled. A look that disturbed Kurogane deeply.

"Oh, hello Mokona. How are you?" the dark haired woman asked. She turned away from the mirror to face the hologram head on. Kurogane could now fully see how extravagantly she was dressed. The rim of her dress came low, coming very close to revealing too much for comfort and an elegant silver chain around her neck held a small ruby pendant in the shape of a fox.

"No time for formalities, tell me what you did to Fai," Kurogane interrupted impatiently. He wanted to get things over quickly. The witch was obviously about to go out and he didn't want her bailing halfway through their talk.

The witch gave him a quizzical look. A look that set off Kurogane's nerves.

"I haven't done anything to Fai-san, I assure you," she said absently, returning to her hair, working it into a tight bun with a, in Kurogane's opinion, completely over decorated pin.

"What is that thing stuck around his head? Tell me now witch!" He was irritated by Yuuko's unconcerned manner. Everyone with any manners at all knew you were suppose to look at someone when they are talking to you.

"Oh, that." Yuuko smirked, once again succeeding in irritating the annoyed ninja.

"I thought that might worry you. Are you sure you want me to tell you? It may upset Fai-san if I told you."

"I don't care. Just hurry up and tell me."

"Very well, I'll tell you"

"What's the price?"

"It has already been payed."

Kurogane raised an eyebrow suspiciously. The witch's price was never an easy one. "By who?"

"Both you and Fai-san. When Fai made his wish to take his illness upon himself, he promised that once he passed his soul would belong to you, but you promised me the soul of the next person to die by your fault. You sold me Fai-san's soul without even knowing it belonged to you. The price I received for your information you want is not knowing this up until now, when you would have to find out anyway."

Kurogae's eyes went wide. He had sold Fai's soul to the witch. When he had made that deal in the first place he had not been thinking. He just wanted to know what was wrong with Fai. He hadn't even fully understood the deal.

At that moment he remembered what Yuuko had said when the deal had been made. When she told Kurogane her price, the soul of the next person who dies by his fault, Kurogane had objected, saying that another person's soul was not his to give but Yuuko simply assured him 'trust me when I say this soul will belong to you'. Kurogane didn't ask anymore questions, at the time he didn't care.

He felt overwhelmed by guilt. How would Fai feel about this? Would he be mad? Upset?

"Now for the information you wanted. It is part of that deal I made with the both of you. As Fai gets weaker, the stone on the circlet collects his essence. When Fai passes on. The stone will detach and the circlet will loosen, having collected all of Fai's soul. Now, please excuse me, I have places to be." The witch turned her back to leave.

"Wait, I have one more question." Kurogane stopped the witch from ending the transmission. "What would you want with Fai's soul?"

"In general, human souls are used for various reasons, mostly conjuration spells, but Fai-san's soul would be worth quite a bit more than a normal man's. A soul is strengthened by life experiences that can change someone, whether it is a good or bad experience doesn't really matter. Fai himself has encountered many powerful events in his life time that has strengthened the power of his soul. Another valuable asset is that Fai's magic is part of his soul," Yuuko explained "But in this case, the reasoning is different."

Kurogane's eyes narrowed on the witch "What do you mean?"

"I had an order, from a dream seer." Yuuko paused.

"A dream seer?!"

"I cannot tell you much, but it was quite a specific order for Fai's soul. It is someone that Fai-san is quite familiar with. Now, I can no longer stay and talk, goodbye." The image faded without another word from anyone.

Fai blinked against the sunlight as he regained consciousness after what felt like hours of sleep filled with strange dreams. He sat up slowly, ignoring his own light-headedness, and looked around. The room was empty. He was half surprised that Kurogane wasn't with him, though he didn't blame him. He didn't remember falling asleep; the last thing he remembered he was talking to Kurogane. He was about to confess his feelings.

Fai's eyes widened. Had he told Kurogane or not? Had he upset Kurogane? Or had Kurogane excepted it? Fai took a deep breath to ease his panic. He would remember if anything big had happened, wouldn't he?

He pushed off his covers and took hold of the window railing. Straining his muscles, he pulled himself up off of his bed and stood up as straight as he could. He felt dizzy and slightly ill in the stomach but as his senses became more accustomed to standing, he was able to continue out into the hall. Needless to say, it took some getting used to, as most the time since he had fallen ill he hadn't been able to move, let alone walk. It took a lot out of him. At least now he was at one of his better points.

Kurogane walked back towards Fai's room slowly. He was still processing all the information he had received from the witch but mostly, he thought of Fai. It felt like it had been an eternity since he had seen Fai well and moving about as usual. He was beginning to miss Fai's old self. He was even beginning to miss his stupid nicknames. There was something about Fai that had always caught his attention. Since they had first met he had seen that Fai had an unusually graceful demeanor. The way he walked, the way he talked, the way he fought, the way he smiled and laughed, even the way he teased. He had an air of grace around him. He always found that somewhat appealing. Even during their stay in the war-torn world before Fai fell ill, when no one had any sleep for days, Fai managed to keep his grace.

"Tiring isn't it Kuro-chii?" Fai grinned at his friend as they headed back to the camp after their last patrol of the area had ended. Kurogane grunted in response. The truth was, he was exhausted, but he wouldn't tell Fai that.

"Don't think it's over yet, now we have look out at the camp so it's going to be another all-nighter," Kurogane told the blonde, sparing a quick glance at the limber man practically skipping alongside him. Fai had gotten just as little sleep as Kurogane but he wasn't letting it show at all. He was smiling ear to ear and he moved fluidly along beside him. He smirked slightly; it would be interesting to see if that wore off during the night.

"I don't mind another sleepless night, I'm just happy we're paired together for patrols and look out." Fai looked Kurogane eye to eye. "I think I'd go insane if I had to do all this without you."

"You would?"

"Definitely, it would be so boring if I didn't have my Kuro-rin to keep me company." Fai made a displeased face. "And I don't think I'd be able to spend that much time with a stranger." Fai laughed a light-hearted little laugh. Hearing Fai laugh like that made Kurogane think another all-nighter might not be too bad.

"K-Kurogane~" Kurogane was snapped from his thoughts by a soft voice. He looked up and saw Fai standing at the end of the hall, one hand on the wall for balance and the other waving extravagantly at him. There was a wide grin on his face despite the wobbling in his knees. He looked kind of cute like that.


	15. loss

**I AM SOOOOOOOO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! things have been crazy, but please forgive me, I'll be more dotting from now on**

**When Kurogane had properly processed the situation, he could have knocked Fai out - sick or not - for being so idiotic. But on the other hand, it was almost refreshing to see him out of bed. He almost looked like he was well again, when he was up and about. It was strange to watch him. Like someone was playing a game with him. Sometimes it seemed like Fai was getting better but then at other times he barely seemed alive at all. In all honesty it was exhausting to watch. Kurogane couldn't stand it; it made him furious.**

**He snarled and stalked angrily down the hall until he reached the blonde who was leaning heavily on the wall. As he approached Fai, he realised how worn out he really looked. Dark rings had formed under his eyes that looked almost black in comparison to his pale skin. The robe that he had been wearing as long as they had been in Nihon hung loosely from his slim frame, the top falling to one side showing Fai's shoulder and a portion of his upper arm and chest.**

**"You idiot! What the hell are you doing out of your room!?" Kurogane snapped, having to restrain himself from hitting Fai upside the head. Fai just giggled breathlessly.**

**"I needed some... fresh air." Fai's voice was hard to make out between strained pants.**

**"Damn it, Mage. That's no excuse. Just get back to your room."**

**Fai pouted. "But it's too hot in that room. I can't stand it," he complained.**

**That was odd. It wasn't that hot. Kurogane found it to be a comfortable temperature, but he didn't doubt Fai was telling the truth when he said the room was too hot for him. One of the few things Kurogane was able to figure out about Fai's past is that he came from a cold land, which means his tolerance to heat would be low. Fai had never directly told Kurogane that fact, but it was easy to deduce. The clothes from Fai's homeworld were thick for a reason, but that wasn't the only way to tell; they could have just been winter clothes after all. You could tell Fai's home was cold by the way he looked. His skin was always pale, like not even the slightest tan ever touched his skin and his hair was light. Light hair shows generations of not being exposed to much sun. The next clue was his fighting style. If someone learns to fight in a cold environment, it's much more difficult to move. Your body will be stiff and at first you won't be able to move with much speed, no matter how much energy you put into each movement. Once taken out of the cold environment, your movements will be faster and take little effort. You also won't be able to make small movements as easily, so often the person's fighting style will involve mostly wide motions. Both those aspects matched Fai perfectly.**

**"Tsk, you're going to have to put up with it for a while longer. There's nothing I can do about that."**

**"Can I... spend some time... outside?" Fai asked, almost sheepishly. His eyes looked up questioningly, eager for Kurogane's response.**

**Kurogane didn't want to say yes. Fai could rest much better in bed but being too hot might be bad, and whether he liked it or not he couldn't force Fai. Kurogane would have liked to say he didn't care either way but at this point he was beginning to admit to himself that Fai's health did concern him. That was why this decision was so hard. He didn't even know why it was his duty to answer it. He wasn't in charge of what Fai did. He did order the blonde around a bit but did that really make Fai think he needed to ask his permission?**

**"Whatever. Do what you want. Can you walk that far?"**

**Kurogane didn't really need to ask. He knew the answer and he knew Fai would lie about it too. Fai was a liar. Kurogane had long since realised that.**

**"I don't know, but I'll try!" Fai attempted to sound cheerful.**

**Kurogane rolled his eyes and without asking permission, he scooped Fai up into his arms and carried him in a way that he regretfully noted was known as 'bridal style'.**

**Kurogane had to convince himself his eyes were playing tricks on him when he saw a light flush spread across the blondes cheeks. Fai never blushed. He was too outgoing for that. Besides, this wasn't the first time he had carried Fai like this and he hadn't blushed any of the other times. It must have been his fever coming back more. Yes, that must have been it. Fever.**

**Fai opened his mouth as if to say something but quickly closed it again. He looked away, trying to hide the red that had risen in his cheeks. His heart was beating so fast that he was almost sure the dark haired ninja could feel it, with how close together they were at that moment. If Kurogane had felt it he chose not to say anything because he continued without so much as a word. That was a relief. He allowed Kurogane to carry him him out into the main garden, where the large sakura tree was rooted. Fai was surprised with the beauty of the place. From the delicately and elaborately decorated buildings to the lavash gardens, it was all amazing.**

**In a few moments, Kurogane had place Fai against the trunk of the tree for support and had sat down a couple of feet away. It was a perfect place. The sakura tree provided plentiful shade and there was a cool breeze that blew through the garden periodically.**

**"This good enough?" Kurogane asked gruffly.**

**Fai smiled and nodded. "It's perfect, Kurogane!" He still felt strange saying Kurogane's full name, and he knew Kurogane thought so too, seeing the flicker of surprise pass over the man's features at the use of the name.**

**They both sat there in rather awkward silence, Kurogane looking as if there was something weighing on his mind but Fai chose not to ask. He had a feeling he was about to find out anyway. This continued for some time until, as Fai predicted, Kurogane spoke up.**

**"Listen Mage, there's something I need to tell you about," he started stiffly. Fai raised an eyebrow.**

**"What is it?" he asked with curiosity.**

**"I talked to the witch while you were out of it."**

**"You talked to Yuuko-san? That doesn't sound like something you'd do willingly. As I recall you don't particularly care for her."**

**Kurogane growled. He really was like a big dog. "I didn't say I enjoyed it," he started. "Anyway, she told me about the circlet and what you exchanged."**

**Fai's eyes widened for a split second before regaining his composure. "Is that so?"**

**"That's what I said, isn't it? Listen, it's none of my business what you agree to, no matter how stupid it may be, but there is something else I have to tell you."**

**"Go on."**

**"I didn't know what I was doing at the time, but that witch tricked me into trading your soul for information."**

**Fai didn't let any emotion touch his face, though inside, he felt his stomach sink. He took a deep breath, hoping Kurogane didn't notice and smiled.**

**"It's okay, I suppose it doesn't really matter in the end."**

**"That's not all, the witch said that the reason she wanted 'that' was because someone asked for it, from you especially. She said it was someone you knew... A dream seer."**

**That was confusing as the only dream seer Fai knew was Tomoyo.**

**"I'm afraid I don't recall knowing any dream seers that are still alive, other than Tomoyo-chan, and I think it's safe to say she doesn't have anything to do with it."**

**"Are you sure?"**

**"Yes, I'm fairly certain. It's too bad, I would like to know-" Fai stopped suddenly, a hitch in his breath. He broke into a fit of coughs that made his ribs sting. Kurogane said something but Fai couldn't hear. His chest was beginning to get tight and his head was spinning.**

**"Fai? Hey, calm down and take a deep breath," Kurogane commanded.**

**Fai forced himself to take in a shuddering breath.**

**"Ku-Kuro...gane," he gasped.**

**"Yeah, yeah, just calm down." The ninja put a hand on Fai's back. Fai looked up, looking Kurogane in the eye.**

**"K-Kurogane... I-I" Fai tried to get the words out of his mouth. "I...I love you..."**

**Before Kurogane had a chance to react, Fai pushed himself forward and their lips met.**

**Kurogane was frozen, eyes wide in shock. His mind screamed at him to pull away but he couldn't, something was stopping him from moving. Something inside him was making him stay. He had expected himself to be furious but he wasn't. The feeling was quite pleasant and subconsciously, he found himself leaning further in but still trying to comprehend what was happening. Fai had said he loved him, and now this. This must have been his weakened condition. He must not be thinking straight. But then again, maybe not. It could be the truth. In that case, what was Kurogane going to do? He had to do something to tell Fai how he felt about him but, how did Kurogane feel about Fai? He'd been trying to figure that out for some time now. Maybe this was the answer. Love...**


	16. Mortality

Kurogane lay on his bed for the first time since he had woken up in Nihon. His mind was scattered, unable to decide what to focus on. Apparently Fai's health was declining quickly. Ever since that moment in the garden when his breathing had become difficult. Kurogane didn't know exactly what was happening to make things worse. The healer had said something about the virus attacking his vital organs which had been prevented by the medicine up until now but he didn't really understand any of that. He would probably know what was going on if he had stayed with the mage, like he had been doing before, but at the moment he couldn't even look at Fai.

Fai had kissed him, said he loved him, and Kurogane had no idea how to go about the whole thing. He did know he had to say something, but what? First he had to figure out how he felt about Fai in the first place. But Kurogane didn't understand the way he felt about Fai. He had definitely never felt the same way about anyone else. He couldn't deny that he cared about the mage. Over the time they had traveled together they had gotten quite close. At the beginning Kurogane hated him and Fai, though he acted friendly, didn't really seem to want much to do with him either. That changed sometime around their time in Outo country. Fai was still distant, but somehow, Kurogane had developed an interest in what exactly was going on in the blonde's head. It wasn't anything close to friendship, but it was something. The real change happened in Yama country. He had learnt a lot about Fai in the six months they spent there. Fai was practically forced to rely on Kurogane since he couldn't use words to get himself out of trouble and when you rely on someone, it's only natural that you develop a closeness. Form then on, they could almost have been called friends.

He stood and paced restlessly up and down the length of the room. He shouldn't be dwelling on this. If he spent too long thinking about it, Fai could run out of time. If that happened, none of this would matter anyway.

"Kurogane-san?" He turned around and saw a dark haired woman standing in the doorway. Souma.

"What are you doing here Souma?" he asked absently.

"I was with Tomoyo-hime. She's taking care of Fai-san."

"That's not an answer."

"He's asking for you. I was surprised you weren't with him in the first place."

"It's not like he really needs me there. Why does he want me?"  
"Kurogane," Souma started sternly. "He's been close to death since he arrived but now, I highly doubt he'll last more than a few hours if the kids don't get back soon. He's your friend right? Even if you don't want to see him for some reason you should be there for him."

Kurogane grunted. Until now he had been convincing himself that Fai would get better, but now things seemed to be more real. Fai could die at any moment.

"I'm going."

Fai coughed painfully, feeling as if his lungs were on fire. Everything hurt. It felt like his body was falling apart. It was worse than it had ever been so far. He couldn't even force a smile to his face if he wanted to. He was glad the children weren't there to see him like that. Sakura would cry and Syaoran would watch him with his somber look. He hated to see them like that. Tomoyo was at his side, offering what comfort she could in Kurogane's place. Fai hadn't seen Kurogane since they had kissed in the garden. It probably wasn't the best thing to do but it had been the only thing he could think of doing at the time. He was glad his first and last kiss could be with Kurogane, even if the ninja didn't feel the same way about him. Fai had already accepted that.

He was distracted when the door opened and Souma came back in with Kurogane at her heels. It was almost a surprise that he came. Fai was glad he had because there was something he wanted to show him. It included using his magic so it would probably leave him much weaker than he already was. It was possible he didn't even have the strength left to do it at all but he would try.

As Kurogane stood at the end of Fai's bed, Tomoyo lead Souma out of the room and closed the door behind her. No one said a word at first, they just watched each other until Fai broke out into a fit of painful coughs, staining the sleeve of his robe with crimson red blood. Kurogane was instantly beside him, assisting him in soothing the coughs.

"Thank you." Fai rasped gratefully as the coughs subsided. Kurogane just grunted in response. The darker man seemed uncomfortable with him. Fai didn't blame him. It really was an awkward situation.

"It's okay Kurogane. You don't have to worry about what happened in the garden. I know it's not something you'd ever want to do. I don't expect you to say anything about it either. I wanted you here for another reason."

Kurogane took a few moments to reply. "Why do you want me here then?" he asked finally.

"To show you something."

"What?"

"It occurred to me that I was never very open with you or the kids... I wanted to show you some of my past. That is, if you want to see it."

"Your past? How can you-"

~~ I don't know why they all hate us. Ever since we were born they have hated us. Mother killed herself because she gave birth to us. They say it's our fault our father died too but I don't understand. They say it's because twins are bad luck. Because we were born, people are suffering? It doesn't make sense but my brother, Fai, says we should try to stay away from other people because of it. I don't want them to hurt us. I'm scared.

I'm holding Fai close to me but they are tearing us apart. I'm so scared. They want to separate us. I don't want to go without Fai. I don't want to be alone but I'm not strong enough. They pull us away and I can no longer see my brother. I'm crying. I don't want to go to the valley. I don't want to be away from Fai. I don't want to be alone. I cry so much I can't see. They dump me at the bottom of the valley where they dump the bodies of the dead. I watch them take Fai to the top of the tower. I can see him but I can't touch him. It's torture.

My fingers are bleeding. It doesn't hurt though. The cold numbs them. I can't get high enough to reach Fai. I stack bodies to bring myself higher but it's not enough. Even with all the new bodies that have been dumped. I can't reach. I call out Fai's name and he calls mine. Both of our voices are hoarse. I will reach him someday.

The sovereign went insane because we are alive. So many people died because of us. I still don't understand but I don't have to. I know it must be true. If I weren't alive, if I had never been born, Fai could have had a happy life but instead we were born damned twins. Is just being alive a sin!? I want to die! I want to die! I want to die! I want to die!

I see Fai fall. It happens so fast I can't stop it. He hits the ground. I feel snow fall over me as I clutch at the body of my twin. He's dead. It's my fault. I killed him. It isn't fair. We had never done anything wrong. We were just innocent boys. Innocent until we were tainted in the valley where time stood still. What had we done wrong by the gods?

There's a hand. It's reaching for us. There's a man. He wants to take me away from this place but I'm scared. I don't want to leave my brother. I clutch him tighter. The man says I can bring him with me if I want. I look up at the man who is standing over us. He's smiling. He doesn't look like he wants to hurt us. He wants to help us. He asks me my name. My name is Yuui but I don't tell him that. Yuui shouldn't be alive. Yuui should be dead. I tell him my name is Fai and he believes me. He takes us away from the cold. He holds me. He's so warm.

I've changed a lot. I can tell every time I look at Fai. I look older than I did but not nearly as old as I should look. Ashura-san said its because I have magical abilities. Fai still looks the same. I wonder if he were still alive, would he look the same as I do? Probably. If he were still alive he would probably have the same marking that Ashura-san gave me to control my magic and keep it from getting stronger so I don't hurt anyone. I smile a lot more now too. The staff at the castle say it makes Ashura-san happy when I smile so I try do it as much as I can. I think Fai would have liked to see me smile too. I would have liked to see him smile.

More people died today. I swore to Ashura-san I'd kill whoever or whatever was doing this to the people of Celes. I try to protect the people as much as I can but they still keep dying. I saw a little girl today when I visited the scene of the last murder. She was still alive, but only barely. I tried to help her but no matter how hard I try I can't get the hang of healing spells. She was crying and begging me to 'stop the bad man' I told her I'd do all I could to stop the bad man and she smiled at me. She died after that. She was just a little girl. She was so young. The gods are cruel.

I can't keep the promises I made. Today I found out who killed all those people. It was Ashura-san. I can't kill him though. He showed us kindness when he found us. He took care of us. He was like a father to me. More of a father than my real father had been. He killed the people of Celes and I can't forget that but I can't kill him either. He is telling me to. He is commanding that I kill him like I promised. Why!? Why did it have to be him!? I can't do it. He wants me to fight and kill him but I can't. I do what I have to do. I put him to sleep. I place him beneath the water with Fai but I know it will only last so long. When he wakes up, he'll tell me to kill him again. I need to get away. Far away. To other worlds. I can do it easily with my own magic but that will make it to easy for him to find me. He could feel my magic anywhere. I have another plan. Ashura-san once told me of a woman who can grant wishes for a price. I will go to her.~~

Kurogane felt disoriented when the connection between him and Fai broke. Was that really Fai's past? Or should he say Yuui's past? So much had happened to him through his life. He had seen so many hardships. Kurogane had had a tough childhood, losing his parents, but Fai's childhood seemed far darker. The way Fai acted towards the world suddenly made more sense. He was pulled out of his state of shock when Fai collapsed against him, head falling against the others neck. He noticed something that made his heart stop. Fai wasn't breathing.

"Oi! Fai!" He yelled, grabbing Fai by the shoulders and shaking him. Fai took a very small breath but it was very weak. "Damn it, Fai!"

Fai opened his eyes slightly.

"I'm...so sorry.."

"Shut up! Save your apologies for when you're better!"

"I...I don't think...I'm going to get any better...Kurogane."

"What the hell are you talking about!?"

"I'm not going to make it...I'm dying Kurogane."

Kurogane almost glared at the blonde. "You aren't going to die! Just hold on a while longer, the kid and the princess should be here in no time."

"I.. Only have a few moments left..."

"No You-"  
"Tell the kids I'm sorry I couldn't see them... And that they mean the world to me... I love you Kurogane..." Fai's breathing had all but stopped at this point.

"I.." Kurogane hesitated slightly. "I love you Fai."

Fai smiled at him, he looked very happy to hear those words. He closed his eyes.

"Damn it, you didn't have to save my life!"

"No... but I wanted to." Kurogane kissed the frail blonde's forehead. Fai's breathing ceased and Kurogane just stared at the man's calm face. The gem stone on the circlet dropped and Kurogane squeezed it in his hand.

"Fai..."

The two young travelers were stopped at the door of their ill friend by Tomoyo and Souma. The two looked somber and Syaoran knew something was wrong. By the look on Sakura's face, so did she.

"Welcome back," Tomoyo greeted with a sad smile on her lips.

"We have everything you sent us to retrieve," Syaoran announced seriously.

"You did well, both of you, but I'm afraid it's too late. Fai-san is gone."

Syaoran felt his stomach sink. It was too late. Fai had passed away while they were gone. Sakura threw her arms around Syaoran and began to sob. Mokona jumped from Tomoyo's shoulder and Syaoran hugged both girls comfortingly. He couldn't believe Fai was actually gone. After traveling together for so long. They stood there, Sakura continuing to cry, for several long minutes.

"When did he pass away..?" Syaoran almost felt bad for asking but it had to be asked eventually.

"Only a short time ago, he's still in bed. You can see him if you wish but I advise you wait. Kurogane is with him at the moment." Syaoran nodded.

"S-Syaoran-kun..." Sakura sniffed, looking up at he friend.

"Yes, Sakura-Hime?"

"Can w-we have a funeral for him? If its okay to have it here Tomoyo-san?"

"Of course! I mean, if that's okay..." Syaoran looked at Tomoyo who nodded.

"I think we should do something special too..." Sakura sounded slightly unsure and still very upset.

"Did you have something in mind, Sakura-hime?"

"Yes... But we'd have to talk to Yuuko-san..."  
~~~~


	17. Biter sweet memories

It was sunny. It almost didn't seem possible that such a beautiful day could be such a solemn occasion. But then again, it also seemed very fitting that the day they said farewell would be so bright. Underneath the Sakura tree was where they gathered, a hole dug deep near the base of the tree and a long wooden box beside it with a small group of people gathered before it. They were all there to attended the funeral of the mage, Fai. It wasn't a normal service to others but it was the tradition in Valeria, Fai's home country.

(The day before)

Kurogane stood in the far corner of the room as the others came in to see Fai. It hadn't been long since he had passed and Kurogane couldn't erase all the emotions rushing through him. He felt the way he had after his parents death. It took a lot of control to keep himself composed, something princess Sakura didn't seem to be able to do. She was crying her eyes out. Syaoran was there to comfort her while it was also quite obvious that he too was mourning the loss of their friend. Sakura reached forward with a shaky hand and placed it over Fai's. She was very gentle in doing so, as if afraid she would do something wrong.

"H-his hand..." The princess started softly. "It's cold." There was great pain in her voice. She almost sounded like it confused her. "It's feels strange... his hands were always so warm..." No one said anything about it. No doubt Sakura knew why Fai was cold so there was no point in explaining. The girl was only expressing her loss. "At least he looks peaceful..." A fresh wave of tears spilled from her eyes as she looked at Fai's face then up at Kurogane. "D-Did he suffer?"

The question took Kurogane by surprise. He would have never expected to be asked a question like that. Sakura wanted to know if her friend had suffered before death. Truth was, he did. Fai was in pain, even if he had seemed calm in the end. Kurogane was not one to lie but what could he say? How was he supposed to tell an innocent princess something like that?

"No." He answered clearly. Sakura smiled at him and looked back down at Fai.

Mokona was nestled in the crook of Fai's neck, where she had rested so many times before, hugging him and crying. She whimpered a few things about missing Fai and kissed the deceased man's pale cheek before returning to Syaoran's shoulder and nuzzling him.

"Hime, do you want to do it now?" Syaoran asked carefully, obviously worried that he was rushing the girl.

Sakura nodded in response and pulled her hand away from Fai. Mokona sniffled and started up a transmission. Kurogane watched slightly confused as the hologram of the time-space witch appeared.

"Hello," she started with a somber expression. "I take that it's bad news."

Syaoran and Sakura nodded and Mokona explained that Fai had passed away. Yuuko seemed to have known to begin with but she still listened to the creature speak.

"I'm sorry for your loss, I'm sure you are all very upset, but I still must ask your reason for contacting me," the witch said, advancing the conversation.

"Yes," Sakura began. "I wanted to have a funeral Fai-san."

"Sounds very nice, I'm sure Fai-san would be very happy. Is there something you need my help with?"

"Well, every land has different traditions, and I thought it would be best if we held a funeral with the traditions of Fai's home land..."

"I see, but you don't know what those traditions are, that's why you need my help, correct?"

"Correct.."

"Simple, I do believe I have a book of Valerian traditions around here somewhere and considering the circumstances, I can waive all fees, just this once. Though I must warn you, it will not be a completely traditional ceremony no matter how well you follow the book."

"Why is that?"

"Where Fai is from, the circumstances of his birth would mean he was not to be given a funeral."

Sakura seemed horrified at that statement. "W-Why not?"

"It is not my place to say, but I believe Kurogane knows the answer."

The rest of the room looked at Kurogane who growled at the witch. He was about to tell them it was none of their business when he realised that Fai had wanted the children to know more about him before he died. He had never said it in words but it had been quite obvious.

"He was a twin. For some messed up reason they thought twins were bad luck," he explained carefully. The others looked shocked at the new information. Sakura looked about ready to lecture someone about how wrong it was.

Yuuko left sight momentarily to retrieve the book and a few other needed items that they wouldn't be able to find in Nihon and gave them to the black Mokona to transport to the group. In a matter of seconds the white Mokona spat it all out and Sakura and Syaoran said their thanks. Before the transmission was cut though, Yuuko looked at Kurogane and he instantly knew what she wanted they didn't even exchange words, Kurogane just gave the gem from Fai's circlet to Mokona who sent it back to Yuuko. It was almost hard for him to let go of. After that the transmission ended.

(The next day)

In a traditional Valerian funereal, there were many roles. There was a priest, Tomoyo would be filling that role, and a receiver who handled parts pf the ceremony that involved placing things in the coffin, that role would be filled by Souma. The rest of the roles were reserved for family. Fai didn't have any real family, that was clear to them all, but the small group of travelers were very much like a family. They were as close as one. So they would be there as not just Fai's friends, but as his family.

Kurogane was finding it hard to be part of this. The longer he stood before Fai's coffin the more he felt his composure slipping away. He hadn't realised until the last minute that he had loved Fai. He had only gotten the chance to say it once. It didn't seem like enough. He had vowed to never let someone he loved die again but he had broken it already. He had watched helplessly as Fai's life faded. He had failed. Fai had died because he hadn't been able to save him. It hurt.

Tomoyo started the ceremony by reciting prayers for the deceased. Sakura and Mokona were already crying again. Syaoran looked even more serious than the day before. The boy was being so strong for his princess that it was easy to forget that he was mourning too. The prayers only lasted a minute or two until Tomoyo had finished. After that was one of the most difficult parts of the whole experience. All the members of the family were suppose to present one of their personal items to the receiver and cut out some of the hair of the deceased person to place in a small jar to keep. This was so the person who had passed had some of their family items to cherish and the family had something of them to keep. It sounded fairly simple but the hard part was that when you took the hair, you were suppose to close your eyes and think of a good memory of the person who had died. All memories of Fai caused Kurogane pain. He was glad he was going last.

Sakura wiped her eyes and walked forward to where Souma stood in front of Fai's coffin. It was time to give her gift to Fai. She had spent nearly all night deciding what she would give. She had finally settled on giving a hair clip she had acquired along their travels. She wore it often so it was something that would represent her well. She handed it over to Souma who bowed and allowed the girl to go forward to to Fai's coffin. She knelt beside it and looked down at Fai. He didn't look much different than he usually did. He was even back in the clothes he usually wore. She was cautious in taking up the blade used to cut Fai's hair and very careful in selecting a small amount of hair to cut. The knife was sharp so it cut with ease. She placed it in the jar that Yuuko had provided that had spells cast on it to preserve the hair. Once she closed the small jar, she held it close and remembered a happy moment she shared with Fai.

~~ Sakura sighed defeatedly as she failed another attempt at drawing. She could see the picture clearly in her head but no matter what she tried it never came out right on paper. She really wanted to get it right so that everyone could see the image she could see so clearly in her own mind.

_"Everything okay, Sakura-chan?" a familiar blonde asked as he leaned lazily over the kitchen counter, smiling kindly at her._

"Yes." She sighed again. "But I'm having a bit of trouble."

Upon hearing this, Fai raised an eyebrow and walked over to the table and stood behind Sakura. "What's your trouble? So I can help you."

"I can't draw what I want to properly." She admitted, afraid she might sound silly for it. Fai didn't seem to think so, he just smiled at her and sat down beside her.

"Okay then princess, I'm here to help!"

"You really don't have to-"

_"Nonsense! I want to~!" So for the next hour, Fai walked Sakura through drawing all the details in the picture she described to him. Sakura really enjoyed it. Fai didn't try to rush her and helped her when she needed it. In the end it felt like they were playing a game, both taking turns at adding details to their final piece of art. Once they were done, Sakura was very pleased with their work. It was a picture of everyone together and smiling. Fai hung the picture where everyone could see it, on the fridge._

"Thank you for helping me, Fai-san." She smiled at the man who smiled back.

"You're welcome. It was actually really fun! Unfortunately I think I should get started on cooking dinner now before the boys and Moko-chan get home, and you should have a bath before they get back all sweaty from training and waste all the warm water."

"Okay..." Sakura couldn't hide the disappointment from her voice.

"Hmm? Is something wrong?"

"No, but, do you think we could do that again sometime...? It was a lot of fun spending time with you today..."

Fai looked surprised at first but grinned. "Of course!"

Sakura smiled happily, hugging Fai before heading upstairs for the bath.~~

Sakura felt tears cascade her cheeks remembering that day. She had gotten the chance to draw with Fai again after that, quite a few times, but she would never get to do that again. She would miss it, but not as much as she'd miss Fai. She stood and walked back to her place. Next was Syaoran.

Syaoran gave Sakura a comforting smile as she returned and made his way forward to Souma. The item he was giving was a small book. It was a book he had been carrying with him for a while about archaeology. He didn't have much he could offer but that seemed fitting. He handed the book to Souma and made his way over to Fai. He would never have expected Fai to die. He would miss him a lot, even if he never really did get the chance to learn much about him, they were still friends. Fai had started the journey with him. He had helped Sakura find many of her feathers. He had been there for them all in tough times. He was a true friend. Syaoran cut some of Fai's hair and placed it into his own jar. He closed his eyes to think about a good memory.

~~ Syaoran had tried to assure him that he was in fact okay, but Fai could be as stubborn as Sakura when he wanted to be. When he had arrived back to where the group had been staying since their arrival to that world, Fai had instantly noticed his limp. It really wasn't that bad, he had just cut the bottom of his foot on some rocks. He'd had far worse but Fai had still insisted that he sit down near the fire and allow him to take a look at it. Syaoran had complied more out of politeness than anything. The others were already asleep, the only reason Syaoran wasn't was because he had went to investigate a noise he had heard earlier in the evening. He was slightly confused about why Fai was still up, but when he asked, Fai just waved it off saying that he had lost track of time thinking about things and that he'd go to sleep once he took a look at Syaoran's foot. He didn't pry any further. Fai rummaged through one of their bags until he found the medical supplies. He sat with his legs crossed and began cleaning the boys food with some disinfectant that stung on contact. Syaoran didn't let it faze him though.

"You're very tough Syaoran, this cut looks rather nasty." Fai said with a light smile. "It's fairly deep too."

"It isn't really that bad."

"I believe you've said that twice already Syaoran."

"Oh, sorry." Syaoran apologised, slightly abashed.

"No need to apologise! But I will warn you, by the look of this cut it may take a while to heal and it may be painful to walk on." Fai started bandaging it.

"I can handle it, the princess' feathers are more important."

Fai laughed slightly. "That sounds just like you Syaoran, but remember, you have to be wary of your own well being." He finished with the bandages. "Luckily for you, I've been making some remedies in my spare time, just in case we need them, and I think I have something that should have it healed overnight," he chimed.

Syaoran was surprised. "Overnight? Really?"

"Yes, that's right. I've always had a way with remedies. Just hold on a moment." Fai reached into his coat and pulled out a jar of strange purple liquid. "Don't be put off by its colour, there are no side affects, well, except you will get very tired, and it tastes foul... But that's not a problem, so drink up!" He tossed it to Syaoran who caught it and cautiously drank the contents. It didn't taste very good. It was bitter. Fai wasn't kidding about the tired thing either. Nearly as soon as he had finished drinking it he was feeling drowsy. Fai had to lead him to his bed. He was almost to tired to walk. Once he had laid down, he was almost asleep.

"Have a good sleep Syaoran-kun." Fai smiled gently.

"Okay... But you try get some sleep too... You look tired."

Fai laughed. "I look tired huh? You should see yourself," he joked.

"I know, but still, please get some sleep." He could feel himself drifting off to sleep. The last thing he could remember was Fai smiling and nodding to him. Then he fell asleep.~~

Syaoran hadn't noticed but the memory had brought tears to his eyes. He ubbed them away and stood. He really was going to miss Fai, for so many reasons.

Mokona jumped onto Souma's shoulder so he could give her her gift to Fai. It was a little keychain in the shape of a pork bun. She thought that was a fitting gift. Mokona couldn't cut the hair herself so she had Tomoyo do it for her. She put it in the jar and gave it back to Mokona. She hugged it tightly and closed her eyes.

~~Mokona quietly walked into his friends' sleeping quarters, hoping that he might still be awake. Sure enough, Fai was sitting in bed reading and looked up at the sound of the small creature entering. He looked surprised to see her there but smiled, welcoming her into his room.

"Is everything okay Moko-chan?" he asked calmly. Mokona sniffled and jumped at Fai in tears. She hugged him tightly and didn't let go. Fai hugged her back and tried to calm her down.

"Oh, Fai! It was terrible!" Mokona cried tearfully.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Fai looked concerned about the small creature's hysterics.

"Mokona had a bad dream." Mokona didn't let go of Fai. After hearing this though, Fai smiled softly and gave her a calm look.

"Do you want to sleep here with me?" he offered. Mokona nodded vigorously. Fai put his book away and blew out the candle, laying down and snuggling with the frightened Mokona. "So, Moko-chan, do you want to tell me what the dream was about?" He petted her head softly as he said this.

"Mokona dreamt that something bad happened to Fai-san and Mokona couldn't find anyone to help." Mokona whimpered sadly. Fai giggled. "Why is Fai-san laughing?"

"Because you shouldn't be scared since we are together now. Anyway, if something bad ever happened to me Kuro-tan would save me."

"Yeah! Kuro-pii!" Mokona agreed, yawning tiredly.

"Goodnight Moko-chan."

"Goodnight Fai-san."~~

Mokona couldn't sleep in Fai's bed anymore. Fai couldn't make her feel better when she had bad dreams. It felt really sad to think about not ever seeing Fai again. It made Mokona very sad. She cried and hurried back to Sakura.

Now it was Kurogane's turn. His heart was beating rapidly. He didn't want to do it but he knew he had to. He walked forward slowly and stopped in front of Souma, handing over his gift to Fai. It was a small sword, not one used for fighting, one that was mostly for show. He knew it was one of the best ways he could represent himself with an object. He moved on to kneel next to Fai. His face looked strange without a goofy smile but he liked him that way. He seemed more real without it. He cut some of his perfect blond hair and put it inside the jar. As he closed his eyes he squeezed it so hard it was a wonder it didn't break.

He couldn't think of a memory though. Every memory with Fai had been a good one and they all hurt to think about. How could he choose? He couldn't. Instead of a memory, he chose an image. Fai smiling a real smile. Every time he had ever smiled a true smile, that was his memory. He loved Fai's smile when it was real. He saw so little of it and now... now he'd never get the chance to see it again. It wasn't fair that Fai had died before he got the chance to be genuinely happy with his life. It wasn't fair.

Kurogane opened his eyes and realised he was actually crying. He hadn't cried since he was a child. Warriors didn't cry. Men didn't cry. He didn't care about that. He had lost another precious person. He rid his face of any sign of his tears and returned to his place.


End file.
